Give vs. Take

As I rocked my baby this morning, I analyzed my feelings towards my role as a mother. I am exhausted. I am not getting enough sleep. I don't get enough time to eat. There is not enough time to cook, clean, hike, write, read, work, and all the myriad of things I both want and need to do. Because of the lack of time for self and for obligations, it's easy to focus on what kids TAKE from you: time, freedom, sleep... sanity. ;) I noticed this morning that I was focusing on what was being taken from me, rather than what I was getting as a result of being a parent.

I created the life I always dreamed of living and now that it's here, the reality of it is harder than I thought it would be. It takes so much work and effort to be a decent parent, let alone a GREAT one. There is so much that kids must learn while they are in your care, beginning with simple tasks like learning how to sleep, eat, sit up on their own, get a diaper changed, etc. It can be overwhelming as you take on these tasks to think of all that is required of you. The mental and physical exhaustion definitely plays a role in the ability to cope and reason properly. In short, so much is required, so much is taken, so much to do. 

The truth is, my kids never asked for any of this. They aren't purposely taking away my time and energy. They are not behaving like this to spite me (although it can feel that way sometimes). I chose to have kids and, with that choice, comes a responsibility to love and nurture them, even though it does require a huge sacrifice of my time. In those particularly hard moments, I can choose to focus on the lack or I can choose to focus on the abundance. 

There is so much I receive as a result of being a parent. I am provided with so much joy watching them learn and grow. I laugh as they say or do cute things. I relish in their hugs, kisses, cuddles, and the way they hold my hand as we walk. Seeing their unconditional love for me and their lack of judgment is inspiring. They love me for who I am. Observing their creativity and thirst for knowledge gives me the ability to see the world through new eyes. 

When I focus on what they give instead of what they take, I am happier. I appreciate them more for who they are. I want to encourage them to continue to love and improve. So, today... I choose to pay attention to all my children do for me instead of what they take. I choose joy and abundance instead of anger and frustration. I choose to love them for who they are and what they give to me and to the world.

Living Life to the Fullest

I have a friend who works for a major airline. He is not married and has no children so he uses his flight benefits often to travel all over the world. Recently, I saw his experiences while he was in Japan. As I watched his adventures unfold, I unconsciously thought, "He is living life to the fullest!" That thought caught me off-guard. Does traveling the world mean that a person is living life to the fullest? Do I think that way merely because I long to travel and am not able to right now?

As I sat there pondering what "living life to the fullest" meant both for me and in general, I came to the obvious conclusion that the nature of that phrase depends on what matters to each person. Each person has certain desires and core values that will alter the definition.

However, I believe that we all have the ability to live our life to the fullest right where we are. Living life to fullest means being present in our lives and not longing for a past or future life. It means working hard daily to live and love. I can live my best life right now. I don't have to wait until I have a certain thing, until my kids are older (and I'm getting more sleep), until I make a certain amount of money, or until I am able to travel and explore than I am right now. I can embrace each day with curiosity and excitement. I can have love and compassion for myself and for others. I can work hard each day to become just a little better and learn a little more than the day before. This takes intentional work. It takes being mindful of my thoughts/feelings as well as the way I talk to myself and others.

I have felt listless lately and so many sleepless nights have left me feeling down, negative, and incapable of taking the action in my life I want to take to improve. I spent some time last night after the baby went down, just cleaning and it helped to improve my mood. I am capable of more than I give myself credit for. I can't change the fact that the baby is waking me up every few hours in the night, but I can change my mindset and my attitude. I can consciously CHOOSE to improve my thoughts instead of harboring negative ones. Here's to living my best life in my little corner of the world!