Project Baby: 10 Weeks Old & Angels

I've been thinking a lot today about how babies are these little angels in our lives. They truly are angels that come from God. We love them and love their sweet little personalities and their sweet little spirits. Sometimes we get SO frustrated with what is going on with baby (i.e. Harrison's NON nap schedule) and overlook the fact that these sweet children are angels sent here from God to help us learn and grow. Usually, however, we can look upon the face of a sweet baby and see the face of angel. I love holding our sweet angel in my arms in those calm moments and remembering how special this little boy is that he was sent to me specifically to be his mother. What an awesome responsibility I have to teach him and to rear him in the best way only I can.

Yet, what happens when babies grow up? Do they stop being angels? I think that sometimes we forget where we all started. Sometimes, we forget that we all began our lives as sweet angels in the lives of our family and friends. As I pondered that thought today, I realized that, although we began our lives as angels, we get to choose later whether we remain angels or not. As babies, we brought joy to others. As adults, we still can bring joy to others through our actions and interactions in our relationships. I know it may not be a huge realization for others, but it meant something to me today to remember how I started. In my baby book, my mom wrote on my first Christmas when I was 11 days old, "Sarah is only 11 days old, but already an important part of our family." I hope I can still remember to be an angel to others and strive to serve and bring joy to those around me. Thank you for that reminder, sweet Harrison!

New this week:

• I put Harrison in his crib for the first time for 2 naps on Monday. (Evan had already put him down in his crib off and on for naps since he's been born.) Then, this led to him solely sleeping in his crib even during the night. I may or may not have cried the first night that he didn't sleep in the same room with me, but I will say it's nice to have my room back! I love that I can get up in the middle of the night without tiptoeing or stay up later and read in my bed if I want. I think it's been a good switch. And, honestly, he was already getting too big for his bassinet so it was going to be SOON that he needed to transition into his own room anyway.
• Harrison has discovered himself in his baby mirror in his play gym. He doesn't care too much for the toys yet, but he LOVES looking at himself in the mirror. He will talk to himself and coo and smile. It's really funny! At first when he started doing that, I couldn't figure out what it was that he was smiling at. Cracks me up.
• Our little guy got his first wound this week. He scratched his face on Monday and it took forever for it to heal!
• Harrison's nap schedule has STILL been driving me insane. I guess it's stressing me out because I'm going back to work in t-minus 8 days and counting. It would be one thing if I were going to be home with him and could work on a schedule. But the fact that I'm leaving him, I feel like I need him to be on a set schedule for someone else. I'm just going to keep praying that Heavenly Father can guide me to know what to do!

Laying under his play gym looking at himself

Close-up you can see the scratch he gave himself... it was a bleeder!

When he did tummy time this week, he decided he liked licking the blanket.

Giving mama a little smile while daddy burps him

Love that face! So handsome!

My two sleeping boys after church... notice how mama is still awake?! I was pumping a bottle.

Favorite picture of the week

At grandma's house smiling and chatting with grandma... he LOVED smiling at his grandpa too!

Project Baby: 9 Weeks Old & Happy 2 Months!

I feel like a slacker because I'm tired and don't have too many things to say about 9 weeks old other than this week was a hard one. Monday (the start of week 9), I realized that Harrison had thrush. I was trying to get the rest of what I thought was spit up out of his mouth and it wouldn't come off. Thankfully, my sister's oldest had thrush 16+ years ago so I knew what it was and recognized the sign. What I didn't know is that if a baby has thrush, a woman can get thrush in her nipples (and even breasts!) too. YIKES! That explained why nursing the baby had suddenly become painful the few days' previous.

Unfortunately, with the onset of thrush was also the onset of baby Harrison only taking 30 minute naps until bed time. I'm telling you, it has been rough! He went from being pretty consistent taking at least a 1 hour nap and, depending on how he napped earlier in the day, taking a LONG 2-3 hour nap in the afternoon. Now it's like clockwork: After 30 minutes, the boy wakes up from his nap! It's been exhausting. It's hard to do more than go to the bathroom and grab a snack in 30 minutes! He also went from sleeping 6 hours straight in the night to only sleeping 4-5 hours in the night. Subtract the time it takes for me to get ready to go to bed and get in bed and another hour of sleep has definitely had its effect on me. PLUS, not being able to nap during the day has also been difficult on me too!

Harrison's thrush went away after the first treatment of nystatin, but mine has definitely lingered. The pain went away and then came back the next weekend. It's definitely been SO frustrating and annoying trying to take care of my thrush situation! I'm really hoping it will clear up soon because I have to go back to work and I can't save breastmilk I pumped when I had thrush. (Well, I could if I wanted to chance Harrison and I getting thrush back again!) I'm also hoping that when the thrush is gone that Harrison's napping schedule will go back to normal. It's one thing for ME to deal with his short cat naps. It's another thing for me to be back to work and having Evan's mom and my sister dealing with those cat naps! Keep us in your prayers!

Thoughts at 2 months old:

• On Harrison's 2 month birthday, we took our first family hike this week up Mt. Peak. It was the first time I've been up Mt. Peak since January. It was good for me to get out and on a hike. I am definitely OUT OF SHAPE! Harrison and I also went on a walk on Friday to the school to get a few forms turned in. (Evan has my car, but the weather was nice enough so that we could walk.) Hopefully, he and I can be little exercise partners because, even though I'm at my pre-baby weight, my muscles are NOT where they use to be!
• Harrison got his first toy from us this week. It's a "play gym" with toys and a mirror that dangle over him. He has laid on it several times but still is too young to be super interested in swatting at the toys. He likes the sounds the toys make when I jingle and looks around to see where the noise is coming from, but that's about it. Someday he'll probably love playing with those toys!
• We had our first family dinner at a restaurant on Friday. We got DELICIOUS sushi! I hadn't eaten out at sushi in over a year. It was awesome.
• People tell you how fast time goes and I'm starting to believe it. The days have seemed LONG sometimes, but before I know it another week (and another MONTH) has gone by! There have been days where I think if only I can get to the night because they've been so hard. There have been joyous days of very little crying (from mom or baby) where schedules are kept and everyone is happy. Harrison and I are learning so much together. When he was in the womb, I would tell him that he was going to be my good little buddy and that we were going to learn so much together. Well, that has definitely held true!
• I'd say the hardest thing at this point is determining the best way to get Harrison to fall asleep for every nap (and even bed time). Sometimes I LOATHE putting him to bed! Sometimes it's not big deal. However, the times that it takes upwards of 30-40 minutes to get him to bed and then he wakes up right after he falls asleep seem to be happening more and more often. I feel at a loss to know what to do. I'm not yet ready to let him "cry it out" and am still not sure if that's the right method for me personally. I try to get him to fall asleep in his bed with minimal intervention from me, but this kid does NOT like going to sleep! He fights against me so hard when I put him into a cradle position even when he is exhausted. It's funny, you'd think that a baby would WANT to be cradled when they're tired. Not this kid. He fights and fights. He arches his back and kicks and kicks. I have to calm him down just to put him to sleep. Sometimes the only way to do that is with his "Schnuli." Yet, when he spits it out, it can wake him up. I really hate letting him fall asleep with it in, but it can be the only thing that helps him to fall asleep on his own without screaming! Any thoughts and tips welcome!
• In spite of our setbacks, I sure do love this kid. If he weren't so darn cute, it would be much harder to love him, but he is just so adorable! I love his little noises and his cute smiles. He truly is a sweet, good-natured baby in spite of the lack of sleep he is getting! I feel like at this point he rarely cries. He usually cries the most when he's tired and fighting sleep. Go figure. Can you tell my thoughts are all on napping and sleep? It's amazing how much that can consume your life. I'm really trying to NOT get discouraged about the fact that he isn't on the perfect schedule I want him to be on. My midwife told me that at about 4 months you get the baby you thought you were getting at birth. I'm enjoying the ride ANYWAY! :)

Just woke up for the day... looking cute on Daddy's pillow

Loves holding on to these rings

On his play gym

Twins!

Trying to wake this guy up... he sleeps with one eye open sometimes, the little stinker

Unswaddled him to nurse him and he STILL stayed asleep!

Harrison and I cuddled in the morning and woke up with him SWEATY. 

I peeled off his clothes and this was the result.

Poor, sweaty boy!

BIG YAWN!

I had to give him Nystatin because of his thrush. FYI- It's 33% sugar. This is why he is smiling as I put it in his mouth! He loved it and would do HUGE smiles every time!

Smiles for mama

Love our little froggie!

First family hike up Mt. Peak! Made it up in 33 minutes.

I hated the pack that Evan had him in so I carried him on the way down. (My weak muscles couldn't do it on the way up!)

Love this boy!

And SUSHI...

Project Baby: 8 Weeks Old & Thoughts on Time

For years, I have been a busy person: in my job, in my church callings, in activities with family and friends. I am busy. In spite of how overwhelming life can feel, I prefer being busy because it gives me a sense of accomplishment.

It's funny how much life changes after you have a child. I felt busy before he was born. I felt as if there wasn't enough time to accomplish all I needed to. Now I just plain feel I have no time. My time is consumed in the constant care of another human being who can do nothing to care for himself. At times, it can be overwhelming. At times, it's frustrating looking around at the long list of house chores undone knowing that I have two options: A, Spend as much time with my son before I go back to work full-time; or B, Set him down to accomplish said chores. Usually, I choose option A and try to get as much done as I can during his all-too-short naps. I know I won't regret if I left dirty dishes in the sink. I will regret not spending quality time with my child.

Because of that, the way I measure time has change. Right now, time is measured in small increments: the amount of time it takes to breastfeed, the amount of times between feedings, how long since the baby has had his diaper changed, the length of time it's been since his last nap, etc. I never knew my life and time would quite be measured on that scale, but it is. I know that someday it will all change. Someday my little sweet son won't want to cuddle with his mom. I know that someday he'll shun the kisses I constantly give him and how often I tell him that I love him. So, for now, I am doing my best to enjoy these small moments of time while they last, even if it means sacrifice. Because, after all, this time with my son is what really matters.

One million dollars...

New to Week 8:

• I've been forgetting to mention this, but when Harrison is in his car seat, he puts his hands in fists and his arms straight down stuck into the seat at his sides. It can make it hard to get him out because he just pushes his little arms so hard down at his sides. Makes me laugh.
• We've been needing to do this for a while, but Evan finally adjusted his car seat to move up the straps because the SHOULDER straps had been at or below his chest for a while.
• I've noticed that Harrison sucks on any clothes or materials near his mouth. When I burp him, he wants to suck on the burp rag if he's on my shoulder. When his jammies bunch up near his mouth, he will suck on his jammies. He looks so cute doing it.
• Last Wednesday, was a really hard day. He cried off and on for about 9 hours with only 2 brief (30 minutes or less) naps in there. We realized it was because I had eaten spicy BBQ sauce the night before. I guess spicy food is off the menu while i'm nursing him!
• This was a big week for our little Harrison! He got to see both of his living great grandmas!
• On Monday, he got to meet his great grandma (Evan's grandma) for the first time. He also got to meet his aunt and cousins up North. We had a LONG day traveling to visit friends and family.
• Friday, my sister and I went and returned a bunch of things at Fred Meyer and Target and then went to my Oma's house. It was so fun being there with her and having her spend time with Harrison. Sadly, he hadn't seen her since the week he was born! I need to get over there more.
• Harrison has been taking showers with me before his baths. Evan and I tried it out sometime this week or last. He loves showers! He just cuddles up next to me with his head over my shoulder. He doesn't cry at all when he first gets in. He immediately calms down as the water touches him. HE LOVES IT. I love being able to hold him so close with his cute, squishy body.
• Evan mentioned that we noticed his hair got longer. I'm sad to say that it looks like his hair is growing in lighter underneath. I hope that he still has brown hair! I'd be sad if it changes to be blond!
• On Saturday night, Harrison had a record with sleeping/eating. He slept for 7.5 hours and went 9 hours without nursing. I'm not quite sure WHY that happened. I'm still trying to figure out how I can make that a regular occurance. Usually he sleeps in 4-5 hour stretches at night before waking up again. His longest before that was 6 hours. I'm hoping we can get back to 7 hours again! My chest was hurting and I was spraying him in the face when he did nurse, but I did not mind the sleep! :)
• I'm trying to be better about doing tummy time. Right now, he is doing really well at lifting head during tummy time. He moves his head from side to side.
• He is smiling more and more at people, especially at his mom! Evan mentioned that he noticed that Harrison is reacting now when he smiles as opposed to smiling as a reflex. I love that sweet smile. It melts my heart!
• I've been meaning to write this for a while, but Harrison loves being held up to our shoulders. Sometimes he cries when we move him away from shoulder burping position. When we burp him, he holds his own head up the whole time, except when he is tired. With a head as big as his, he is a strong guy!

Cousins!

Great Grandma Kennedy

Beautiful Michelle came to visit from Utah

Check out that crazy hair!

Love his legs in these jammies! Look how much bigger he's getting!!!

Sleeping with one eye open

It's hard to catch smiles on camera

Such a cute, little body!

See what he does in the Boppy pillow with his arms straight to his sides? That's what he does in his car seat.

 Shower time with mom!

Crazy hair in the bath afterwards

Fell asleep feeding him at 4am

And then he woke up! :)