Passport Photos

I got my new passport photos today. I hate them. No, I’m serious, I really do. They were taken at Walgreen’s underneath these horrific fluorescent lights. I look at least 10 years older in the pictures. And the size and color of the bags under my eyes is unbelievable. You couldn’t photoshop those babies to look any worse. I considered running far away and never going back, in the hopes of finding another place that took passport photos. But, then I thought, I don’t need to be vain. I’m already here. I’ll only have to look at this photo for the next 10 years of my life. No big deal. So, I’m picking up the photos tomorrow for $7.99. New passport, here I come!

Volcanic Sunset

Volcanic Sunset
In the light of the softly fading day
I take a picture in my memory
To keep you safely there
Where beauty is
Because everything is more beautiful when I’m with you
You who bring an incomparable smile to my lips
Light fades from solid cornflower blue
It’s interesting how the movement of the sun
Can create such beauty
Where light meets dark
Dark meets light
It’s hard to tell if the day is ending or beginning
With you every ending is a beginning
In these in between days
Where laughter is allowed to resonate and permeate
I love that about us
So happy
Just like warm colors of a volcanic sunset
Not too flashy or showy
Not boastful
Just grateful
And beautiful
In between days

Writing Prompts, Take II

Below you will the Week 2 writing prompts from Marta's blog. This week it's all about the details. While it's true that details can really spruce up a story and make it pointedly yours, details can also be tedious. If you're wondering what I mean, just read a Charles Dickens' novel. He knows all about details as proof of how he takes at least 5 pages to describe 1 door. Talk about setting a scene!

The following is today's rash, poetic attempt at the details:
Bitter-sweet salt dripped into my mouth.
The black tears flow down my cheeks, taking the remainder of my make-up with them, while I struggle to put these feelings aside.
Even though I enjoyed the last few days, I knew it would end up like this.
It always does.
And yet, in a few days time, I know it will all be back to normal again.
All will be right; and, once again, I’ll be in a happy, loving relationship.
But today is not that day.
No matter how hard I try, the tears come and I realize that my minute of peace is gone.
How is it that no matter how often I encourage others, I can’t seem to immediately apply those same words of comfort to myself?
The more I struggle, the more I learn.
Time and again, I see that the peace comes only if you let it.
It’s a fight to keep the confusion of Satan from overcoming.
My heart has a little ache, but I know I’ll be okay.
In the end, I know that because of my tears, I’ll be able to understand someone else better.

writing prompts | week 02.
down to details. give the ordinary it's time in the spotlight.

01. describe your childhood home. give it life on the page. tell about the sugary cereals lined up in the cupboard and the red cans of coke in the fridge. the map wallpaper in the office and the van gogh posters in your room. the trampoline in the backyard and the card games around the kitchen table.

02. you have a plane ticket to anywhere. where would you go? what will you pack? what will you do? what will you buy? what will you have forgotten to bring? how long will you stay? what is the hotel like? or will you stay at a hostel, a lodge, a bed and breakfast? when you go on an imaginary trip, the details are endless.

03. describe the best sandwich you have ever had. will it be the reuben from carnegie deli that you shared with your mom on your first trip to new york city? or the grilled cheese and tomato soup your grandma makes every time you stop in? or what about the ham and swiss you shared with your hubby in paris on the metro ride home from museum hopping?

jot in the details. give your stories color.

New Posts at Sarah's Scripture Study

In chronological order, the following are some recent posts at Sarah's Scripture Study:

*Overcoming Revenge and Hard Feelings (March 23rd)

*Power of Scriptural Knowledge (March 23rd)

*The Brother of Jared, Part II (March 15th)

*The Brother of Jared, Part I (March 4th)

*Tools to Improve (March 3rd)

Renewing My Passport

My passport expires in less than two months, yet I've been putting off renewing it for some time now because it means exchanging my current passport for a new one. I am sad to have a new passport and give up the only passport I've ever had in my life; the passport I've used for 10 years in 9 different countries. Those stamps mean something to me. Those stamps signify experiences that I can never recreate no matter how many times I return to those countries. I know, perhaps, that it is sentimental of me, but I truly am let down to have to relinquish my current passport to receive a new one. I guess that's life. Thankfully, I've written a daily journal on every trip to Europe I've ever made. Those memories mean more to me than a passport. The more I think of it, the more I realize that a new passport signifies more life experiences and adventures. Here's to new travels!

Writing Prompts, Take 1

A few weeks ago, I discussed the Write Club held over at m.writes, a fantastic blog by a witty woman writer. (How about that alliteration?) I have, however, failed somewhat at my attempt to write more. Life has been exceptionally busy (and then some) the past few weeks. I do want to post Marta's writing prompts from her first week. I think they make for some interesting writing (and hopefully interesting reading). In case you're interested in improving your skills. Happy writing!

writing prompts | week 01. the real you. you got a new notebook? very good. now introduce yourself. use any of these prompts in any mixed up fashion you'd like to get your juices going.

01. describe your daily routine from sun up to sun down. use only nouns.
02. list your obsessions. what do you think about, obsess over, what types of things, ideas, ideals, plans, dreams, and hopes consume your mind? what are you known for? wearing red lipstick? write about that.
03. pick a year from your life. past or future. describe who you were, what you wore, what your problems were, what your biggest concern was, who you spent time with, who you dreamt of becoming, what you watched on tv, what type of shoes you wore, what you ate for lunch. dig deep and rediscover who you were then and who you are now.

I love Saint Patrick's Day.

Plain and simple. I love Saint Patrick's Day. I'm not quite sure why. Maybe it's because I'm 1/4 Irish. Maybe it's because GREEN is my favorite color. (I put on green this morning without even realizing it was St. Patrick's Day!) Maybe it's because I secretly think I'm going to find a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow someday. OR, it could be the fact that today I get to say "Kiss me, I'm Irish!" and it means something. Either way, this day makes me happy. I think about it for months ahead of time for no particular reason at all. Here's to my Irish heritage!

Ironically enough, I still have no plans for St. Paddy's Day '09. Last year, Evan and I went out to dinner to celebrate. Hopefully next year I'll actually get my act together and throw a party or something! Any ideas for a non-alcoholic St. Paddy's Day celebration? What do you do to celebrate St. Patrick's Day?

Make It New.

Life is hard, yet it is doable.

In spite of that fact, some days can be so overwhelming that there's nothing to do but cry. Today was one of those days for me. News flash: In order to deal with everyday life I push away pain and sadness until it culminates and then one day I just cry. I am an emotional volcano.

I let my emotions and thoughts get the better of me today. When one thing got me feeling down, everything else crept subtly in. Satan has a good way of tricking me into thinking that I am a horrible, rotten, good-for-nothing person when I know that's not true. As a consequence, I felt sad about myself and discouraged. I felt lonely and frustrated. I felt hurt and betrayed. I cried and cried, seeking solace through the only means available: prayer. Heavenly Father granted me strength and the opportunity to grow through this hard day. I'm grateful.

As a means to overcome my struggles, I read a few chapters in a book entitled Attitudes of Gratitude. (I've referenced it here before.) One of the chapters I read had a simple quote from Ezra Pound that I love every time I hear it. He said, "Make It New."

The chapter focused on this quote and discussed seeing life as if for the first time. Food, people, smells, sights, sounds seen so often become so commonplace that we start to take them for granted. The first blooms of spring, the smell of hot cinnamon rolls, a young baby's smile... these simple joys often get overlooked in our day-to-day existence. Because of that, we love our gratitude for the lives we've been given.

I want make my life new by being more grateful for the people and beauty that surround me. I want to enjoy Evan's kiss as if it were new. I want to stare at the evergreen mountains in awe of the breathtaking beauty out my back door. I want to hear the sound of a child's laughter, really hear it, and soak up that joy.

And that, dear friends, is my challenge to you. Make it new. Treat life as if you were living it for the first time, because you are! You cannot repeat any day, any second, or any minute. You cannot change the past, but you CAN change how you live in the future. So go out there and live. Make today better than the last, because you appreciate the people in your lives as if you're seeing them for the first time. It won't be easy, but it is doable.

The Beauty of Natural Gas

For those of you NOT on Google Reader, you should get on so that when I share awesome videos like this from blog posts, you can read and comment on them. Also, you should use Google Reader as a feed reader because your life will be better, I promise. No more clicking on all of your friends' blog links. I'm just saying.

Here's a beautiful video with beautiful music. I hope you enjoy it.

Pseudonyms

Some might call them nicknames, aliases, nom de guerre, or professional names. Whatever you want to call them, I have many. I thought of this today as I was writing an email response to a former student. I had to think quickly which pseudonym to write: Miss Russell? Sarah? Frau Russell? Or should it be Miss Russy, the oh-so-sweet nickname my students came up with for me last school year in Hawaii?(They thought that Miss Russell sounded to harsh and that I needed a better name. Miss Russy or "Russy" apparently was it!)

This year, though, I'm Frau Russell. If my students last year thought that Miss Russell was a harsh name, they wouldn't like the name Frau Russell at all. That's as harsh as it gets.


Above and beyond professional names, my family is a family of nicknames. On the spur of the moment, we create new nicknames for all of the people in our family (and even some for friends too!). I have had some very sweet nicknames given to me throughout my life from family, friends, and former roommates. In fact, for some people, a nickname is the only name they use with me. The following is a non-inclusive list:

1. Sarse- pronounced sair-zee
2. Kuhlsarse- former AOL screenname circa '94... pronounced cool-sair-zee
3. Cool Sarsay- My friend's version of the above-mentioned name. Thanks, Ashley, for that one!
4. Shyness- Although you may not believe it, I was a VERY SHY child. I would hide behind the couch whenever company came over. I received the name SHYNESS as a result.
5. Sassy Sarah- What can I say? I'm sassy and I'm Sarah. :) My latter years of college, most people knew me as this.
6. Fafe- pronounced fay-fee... Received this name as a child from my older siblings. Not sure how or why.
7. Saca waca fafe- pronounced Sack-eh wock-eh fay-fee... Saca from Sacagawea and was added onto fafe
8. Russell- To this day, this is the only name my friend, Bennett, calls me. There were a lot of Sarahs in college, so some of my close friends started using my last name to differentiate me from those "other Sarahs."
9. Russell the love muscle- Received this nom de guerre in 4th grade... don't ask.
10. Rusty- My old roommate Michelle gave me this name when I started calling her Michka. She still uses it.
11. Curls- Dave Nieman still calls me this name. It was given for obvious reasons.
12. Cutes Magillicutty- My brother-in-law gave me this nickname as a child because he thought I was a cutie pie. To this day, I'm not sure where he got the Magillicutty from.
13. Sharshar- This was my niece's rendition of "Sarah" as a 1-year-old.
14. "Sarah E. A. Russell, it's in the game"- Some of my guy friends in college started calling me this because of "EA Sports." They thought it was funny.
15. Snow White- Received as a child because of my dark hair, fair skin, red lips.
16. Cowgirl- My friend, Mark, saw me wearing a cowboy hat the first weekend of my freshman year of college. His entire mission he addressed his letters to me as "Cowgirl."
17. Elaine Benes- Freshman year started a trend of calling me Elaine Benes. I guess it was the hair or maybe my funky dance moves. Either way, my friend, Jeff, addressed his letters his entire mission to an "Elaine Benes" in Rexburg, Idaho.

***I know there are probably many others I can't even think of right now! If you know any and want to help me add to the list, leave a comment to let me know. What are some nicknames you have? Do you have nicknames in your family?

More Snow...

Not sure how or why... but this morning I woke up to more snow. In all the years I've lived in Washington, I've NEVER seen as much snow as I have this year. Crazy!Come on, Mother Nature, it's March already! I'd love to see the crocuses beginning to bloom and all of the deciduous trees turning from brown sticks to luscious, GREEN leaves. Here's to spring and no more snow! (This picture was taken in January... I wish the sun were out today.)


Here is what is hiding behind those cumulus clouds. This was taken in January on a trip to my grandma's. She lives on the island I grew up on.

Motivation to Exercise

(NOTE: This post is being shared because I think it could potentially help someone like me.)


This morning I went down to the bathroom in just a T-shirt and underwear (you'll see why this detail is important in a second). As I washed my hands, my eyes quickly darted down to my thighs. I had to look twice to make sure that what I was looking at was real. Yep, sure enough, it was. My thighs had digressed that much! The muscles that used to be so strong and defined were now, well, slightly less than that. I lifted up my shirt to see if my stomach muscles were also as bad. Yep, they had digressed too. I’m only 27 years old. How did this happen to me? Aren't I impervious to huge body changes? That’s when I decided that I needed to write the following blog:

I'm not getting young. And my body is all of a sudden noticing that. Habits I could easily get away with in my teens and early to mid twenties are slowly catching up to me. This morning, a quick glance in the mirror at my thighs sent a shock wave through my body that I've never felt before. After the shock wore off, I cried. Then I called Evan and cried some more. How did I change THIS much from even just a few years ago? Where did all of my leg muscles go?

I've never looked at myself in the mirror and felt so disgusted and unsatisfied as I did this morning. The sad thing is, I know that I did it to myself. I have been very poor about exercising for the past few years. It started after I moved to Hawaii when I replaced running and hiking with surfing. Sure, surfing exercised my arm muscles, but I was getting very little lower body workout except for an occasional (once a month or less) hike or run. Since moving back from Hawaii, I ran and hiked a little more, but never established a formal routine. And now, for the first time in my life, I'm noticing a difference.

The irony is that I've been THINKING a lot about exercising lately. I think often of posting about how I lack the motivation to exercise. I think things like, "I'm really tired after teaching," or else "It's cold" or "It's raining," or else "I have something better to do." But, what could be better than helping my body get fit? I know I'm happier, healthier, and more fit when I'm exercising, so why can't I get myself to do it?

I guess this is a huge wakeup call to me! I need to be better about exercising. No excuses. Just do it, like Nike tells me to do. I know that as I get older, it won't get easier to exercise. I need to start a habit now that will last for years and years. Here's to good health!

Sore Hands, Warm Heart

Evan and I went rock climbing tonight at a climbing gym in Tacoma. My hands and upper body are so worn out. I honestly haven't had blisters on my hands this bad since I was a kid swinging around and around on the bar during recess. My heart feels like it's pulsing in my swollen, aching hands. But, I feel good. I worked hard and know I progressed throughout the 3.5 hours worth of bouldering I did. I'm excited to get back on real rock again soon to improve my climbing technique even more.

Speaking of... Evan and I went outdoor climbing 10 days ago. Even though I hadn't been climbing for a few months due to weather, I did the hardest and longest climb I've ever done. I was pretty proud of myself. There were a few times I wanted to quit. This is one reason I love Evan: He helps me do what I want to do, even when I say I don't want to do it. He knew I wanted to do it and he shouted up encouraging words at me the last 5 feet before I ended. I love Evan for that. He doesn't let me give up, he doesn't let me settle, he helps me to be better. Here are some pictures from that climb, although they were taken with a STILL-BROKEN camera that has no view finder. (NOTE: I have pictures on Evan's camera, I'm just too lazy to search for his cord.)

Here's the latter part of the climb (this sucker was long!)


The view looking away from the climbing wall


Evan. Getting his camera.

The Brother of Jared, Part I

New post at Sarah's Scripture Study: The Brother of Jared, Part I

Afraid to Fail

One of my worst idiosyncracies is that I am a perfectionist. I am; no matter how you slice this pie, it's still pie. Sometimes perfectionism is my downfall. Sometimes it helps me to create amazing things. Sometimes it keeps me from even beginning. Allow me to elaborate.

I am afraid to fail. I am afraid of trying something and being bad at it. Therefore, I generally try and do things at which I will most likely succeed. These things also tend to be relatively easy for me.

The problem is, I want to go out there and do something hard, to try something new, to push myself beyond what I think I'm capable. In the end, I'm scared of failing. I'm afraid to pick up a camera again because my pictures won't be as good as ones I've taken before or as good as others can take. I'm afraid of writing because I know that others write with so much more humor, depth, and feeling. I'm afraid of entering races because I won't be the first.

I've decided that I will push my resident perfectionist aside and allow myself to fail at something I'm not yet good at doing. In the end, I know that through falling hard, I'll grow, learn, and improve. Here's to failing!

P.S. That is me in the above picture.

Understanding the Atonement

Last Sunday morning was a little bit tough for me. An issue I've been dealing with for quite some time seemed harder than ever. And I broke down in sobs. I prayed and asked for strength and guidance of how best to deal with this problem. I was heartbroken and emotional. I prayed and fasted and waited for the comfort and peace that I know the Lord provides to all of us when we ask.

As I drove to church, it came. You see, on Sundays, I don't listen to music in my car. Instead, I listen to CDs from past general conferences. The CD I happened to pop in the night before began with the talk by Elder Wirthlin entitled, "Come What May and Love It." I listened to it twice on the way to church. (In fact, I probably listen to that talk at least once or twice a week!) But somehow, I heard different messages this time that I hadn't heard before. Heavenly Father answered my prayer. He provided the comfort and peace I needed through the words of His humble servant and disciple, the late Joseph B. Wirthlin. I'm so grateful for the righteous and humble men that lead and guide our church.

In Elder Wirthlin's talk, the message that really stuck out when all was said and done was a message of the atonement. Not only can we receive strength through Christ's atonement, but we can also get to know Christ better through His atonement. Let me explain. When we go through trials, as all of us do, we are able to draw on the atonement for strength. We're able to turn to Jesus Christ, the ONE PERSON who knows EXACTLY how we're feeling, because he went through all things. We can find much strength and comfort in that.

Additionally, however, we learn to be more like Christ through our trials. When we go through struggles, we understand even more what He went through. And we're able to relate to others better as well. What an amazing blessing that comes from those struggles we deal with daily! I feel truly grateful.

I know that as we experience trials, we can improve ourselves and those around us. As Heavenly Father said to Joseph Smith about all of the trials that he would deal with,

"... know thou, my son [or daughter], that all these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for they good. The Son of Man hath descended below them all. Art thou greater than he? Therefore, hold on thy way... Thy days are known, and thy years shall not be numbered less; therefore, fear not what man can do, for God shall be with you forever and ever" (Doctrine and Covenants 122:7-9).