Reflections Upon Turning 25

As I reread what I wrote in my journal on the eve of my 25th birthday, I thought I'd like to create a blog out of it. So, here it is...

Thursday, December 14th, 2006:
Yep, another year has gone by and here I am now officially old at twenty-five. I'm not a kid anymore! Sad! But, that doesn't mean that I can't still act like one! I wanted my twenty-fifth birthday to be some BIG, AMAZING show. I swear, I half expected to have fireworks go off or something. I expected the whole entire world to call me to wish me well, or at least everyone I knew. None of the above happened… and as I was contemplating my birthday today and half wishing that I would have done more, I really just thought how for me a birthday doesn't consist of doing a million cool things. It consists of celebrating the last year that I had and contemplating what I accomplished during the year. I shouldn't need my actual birthday to make up for the year, but to celebrate the fact that I'm alive! And I guess the people who care about me most will make a point to contact me or celebrate with me.

So, as I'm looking back on the past year and what the future year has to offer, I'm feeling more pensive than usual. I guess it's just the fact that twenty-five is such a solid number. I mean, twenty-five. It just sounds old and there is NO going back to being young again. It also has caused me to reflect on what I have done in the first twenty-five years of my life. I thought that life would be different by now. I thought that I'd already have a master's, I'd be a returned missionary, married, or all of the above! I thought that I'd have an amazing job, know what I want to do with the rest of my life… the whole works. I should have learned by now not to count on things like that. Life just happens and the future is always going to be unsure, because that's just the nature of life! I have no idea what tomorrow is going to bring. Life definitely hasn't been what I expected at all. I never expected losing my parents so young. I never expected a lot of things… but all of them have been good. All of them have helped me to grow into the person I am currently. And I look forward to the next 25 years to provide even more learning experiences. Isn't life interesting, though? How things don't turn out the way we would expect, but that they turn out somehow different, but better? Like life just sort of fits and you know that you are where you are for a reason. I don't know… I think sometimes we want things SO badly. I know I do! Sometimes I want things to work out with a certain boy or that I could have a certain job… but honestly, Heavenly Father really knows what I need. He doesn't answer certain prayers for a reason sometimes, or he answers them in ways we can't see.

Ah youth… it's interesting how we only stay young and innocent for such a short portion of our mortal lives, yet during that entire time we're trying our hardest to be adults. We can spend the rest of our lives growing up! We need to have fun now and live at each stage of life while we're there. That's why I'm happy that I am in this place in my life. I feel good about not being married yet. I feel good about being untethered and free. I can still go anywhere and do anything with my life!

Anyway, that's not really the point of what I wanted to write. I really just wanted to write that I've had a good life. As I reflect on this last year and reread my journal entry from last year's birthday, I see that I have improved somewhat from last year. So, this year can just be a continuation of those goals. I'm SO glad that I haven't dated any losers this year! I'm glad that I have progressed spiritually by making it a goal to finish the Book of Mormon again by the end of the year. I have progressed. I do, however, see that there is SO much yet to learn and improve. But, that's what life is for, right? And it sure would be boring without being able to experience things and advance. This year I really want to focus on people. I really want to get outside myself and focus on how I can help others. I don't know if that means joining some service organization, or if it just means really making a conscience effort to be less selfish… but either way, I want to be more Christ-like with charity and love for all. I honestly think that when one is looking for the best in people, she is going to be happier. She is going to focus on the good instead of finding faults with those around her.

In addition, I would like to improve my talents this year. I want to improve (or at least keep up) my skills at the piano. I also want to focus on doing more of the things that I love… running, hiking, singing, acting, writing, reading… I want to keep myself active with things that I love and maybe even add a few more to the list too. I just want to really work hard on scheduling out time for things so I can fit everything in! I need to work on that in order to improve. I see that is crucial.

Right now I just need to say that I'm grateful for my life. I've been given so much. Even though life hasn't turned out the way I expected or would have liked, I've been given SO much. My life has been enhanced by the interactions I've been fortunate enough to have with amazing people. Though some of them have come and gone… all of them remain in my memory to serve as a reminder to the way they've shaped me into who I am. I'm grateful for all of the pain associated with these interactions, as well as the joy that has been inherent. I believe that it's these interactions that have molded my very character. It doesn't matter how many miles I've ran, how many books I've read, or how many notes I learned to play correctly on the piano… none of that matters. The things that matter are people. People matter. Communication is what ultimately brings about the biggest change in our lives. The relations we have not only speak loads about our character, but determine our future interactions. Thus, I can't say how grateful I sincerely am for the people in my life. People I didn't expect to come, or to go… all of them, have shaped who I am. And hopefully I've helped a few along the way as well. Thanks for my life, Heavenly Father. Thanks for allowing me another birthday and another day to be alive. I hope I haven't let you down. I hope that my interactions with others has been a testimony of Your love. I'm going to work hard for the next years of my life to be an example of what You would want me to do. Thanks for loving me enough to provide me with this exceptional opportunity to be alive and to learn all that I am. Life is GREAT, even if it's hard and confusing. I appreciate you sticking by my side. And with that, I end my 25th birthday just at the stroke of midnight… praising God for the life He's so graciously given me and allowed me to live for these 25 wonderful years.

New Things...

New Things...
So, these are all NEW things going on in the next few weeks...
1. I get to see Sufjan Stevens in concert, for which I paid a ridiculous fee of $95 to do so. (I should have learned my lesson with the Warhols' ticket thing, but didn't and the show sold out, so I was the sucker who paid some lucky guy that money on eBay.)

2. Two weeks from today I'm moving to Idaho for a couple months.

3. I'm getting a new laptop since mine broke down so many times in the last couple months and it's still under warranty.

4. I'm HEAVILY considering (and probably will do so in the next two weeks prior to the big move back to Idaho) purchasing an iPod for the first time in my existence upon the face of this earth. An iPod! Yea! I've finally succumbed and I'm willing to shell out the big bucks for it. I'm excited.

5. Did I mention that I'm moving BACK to Idaho? I know, I'm taking crazy pills, but I'm surprisingly serene AND excited to do so. It's just for a few months anyways.

6. There's probably something else new currently that I can't think of which is important. It would normally fill this space rather than me taking up space with excess words. Oh well... you're the one reading it!

7. I'm going to start up several different organizations when I get to Idaho: A, Recyclers-R-Us; B, Help Kids Who Want to Read & Learn to Do Other Stuff Good (the allusion STILL gets me every time); and C, Book Readers Anonymous (you know who you are).

That is all for now.

Jeruselam? Never Heard of It.

So, I just read this article about Jerusalem's translation mistake and it totally made me laugh. I hope you laugh too! :)

Motivations for Actions

This week, nay the last couple of weeks, have been both extremely thought-provoking and EXTREMELY anxiety-ridden. There have been SO many things I've been contemplating lately; e.g. Where should I move? What should I do with the next couple of months of my life? What are some of my immediate goals for the future? There is just SO much to think about that I have had a hard time even eating and sleeping, because I've been SO filled with anxiety.

I came to an epiphany the other day that has helped to provide SOME guidance. I've realized that understanding motivations for actions is crucial to determining what the next step should be. So, what is it that motivates me right now? Why would I choose a given set of circumstances over another? Is it the ease of the way? Is it out of fear? Is it because of someone else?

I guess these are all just random thoughts, but I was reading a blog I wrote a couple months ago about relationships. And all of these questions about motivations just seemed to coincide with what I've been thinking about relationships. At the time I wrote that blog, I wasn't really interested in anyone or in dating AT ALL for that matter. I felt SO secure in myself and SO happy! Yet recently the prospect of a relationship has left me feeling insecure. And I'm now realizing that some MAJOR feelings of insecurity have been left over from one particular MAJOR not-so-good relationship. Through some recent experiences and personal meditation moments, I am seeing my motivations more and more clearly. Oh how liberating it is to understand oneself better!

This pathway to a more firm realization of oneself is CERTAINLY not easy, but it sure does feel better. I think it will take time to overcome these insecurities that have acted as little holes in the fabric of relationships... eventually ripping them to shreds. This time, I'm not going to worry. I'm not going to allow myself to be reminded of past relationships that have failed. I'm just going to be me, acting on faith. Doing my best to be a good person, worthy of an AMAZING relationship. And most importantly, I'm going to remember that if things don't work out the way I want them to now, I've already learned so much and the rest is in Someone Else's hands.

This week, nay the last couple of weeks, have been both extremely thought-provoking and EXTREMELY anxiety-ridden. There have been SO many things I've been contemplating lately; e.g. Where should I move? What should I do with the next couple of months of my life? What are some of my immediate goals for the future? There is just SO much to think about that I have had a hard time even eating and sleeping, because I've been SO filled with anxiety.

I came to an epiphany the other day that has helped to provide SOME guidance. I've realized that understanding motivations for actions is crucial to determining what the next step should be. So, what is it that motivates me right now? Why would I choose a given set of circumstances over another? Is it the ease of the way? Is it out of fear? Is it because of someone else?

I guess these are all just random thoughts, but I was reading a blog I wrote a couple months ago about relationships. And all of these questions about motivations just seemed to coincide with what I've been thinking about relationships. At the time I wrote that blog, I wasn't really interested in anyone or in dating AT ALL for that matter. I felt SO secure in myself and SO happy! Yet recently the prospect of a relationship has left me feeling insecure. And I'm now realizing that some MAJOR feelings of insecurity have been left over from one particular MAJOR not-so-good relationship. Through some recent experiences and personal meditation moments, I am seeing my motivations more and more clearly. Oh how liberating it is to understand oneself better!

This pathway to a more firm realization of oneself is CERTAINLY not easy, but it sure does feel better. I think it will take time to overcome these insecurities that have acted as little holes in the fabric of relationships... eventually ripping them to shreds. This time, I'm not going to worry. I'm not going to allow myself to be reminded of past relationships that have failed. I'm just going to be me, acting on faith. Doing my best to be a good person, worthy of an AMAZING relationship. And most importantly, I'm going to remember that if things don't work out the way I want them to now, I've already learned so much and the rest is in Someone Else's hands.

I'm an adult now!

It all began this morning when I was set to leave for the airport. Now, let it be known that I REALLY like to be on-time to anything, most especially (and importantly) flights. Well, I was all set to go and awaiting a nice friend of mine to decide what she was going to wear for the day so we could get to the airport on time. Seconds to minutes to over an hour and I'm REALLY freaking out about missing my flight. Eventually we get to the airport 30 minutes before scheduled departure time. I try going through the curbside check-in route; however, to my dismay twenty other people had that same idea. I ran inside to find an even longer line that I was able to weasel my way through. I get to the self-check kiosk and nothing I try will work to produce my name. Finally, in a state of panic/shock/exasperation i ask a Southwest associate to assist me. Eventually she tells me that the flight I scheduled left yesterday, not today. What?! Am I really that big of an idiot? Why yes, yes I am. So, she changes the flight for me without charge. But, unfortunately she does charge me for my luggage being 15 lbs. overweight as she informs me that my luggage might not be on our flight, but a later one at some later date. Interesting. Very interesting. Considering the luggage would be flown to Boise and I was not planning on staying in Boise longer than it took me to get my BIG suitcase into my rental car...

So, all throughout the 55 minute plane flight I'm weighing my options if the luggage doesn't come. "I could always sleep in the rental car tonight and just drive to Rexburg tomorrow," I think. So long as I have enough time to drive the car to Idaho Falls before pick up time. I think terrible, frantic thoughts wondering what I'm going to do and how I'm going to work it.
Thank goodness my bag was there.

I proceeded to pick up the rental car I had SO carefully and cautiously reserved last week. It's hard finding a rental car place in Idaho that let's drivers go one-way... and that rent to people under 25. Come on... I'll be 25 in less than five months. Isn't that good enough?! Not to Idaho standards it isn't. Idaho and Iowa are apparently the only states Avis will not rent cars to young people. I find it hard to believe that with all of the "teen" pregnancies/marriages in the greater metropolis of Rexburg that this young mothers can't even rent a car from Avis if they so desire, but they CAN raise a child. I just don't understand Idaho sometimes...

So, no rental car for me at Avis. I shopped around and after declining to pay over $300, I found Hertz gave me a pretty good deal. I didn't have to be 25 (oh, but they charge you!) and I could drive it one-way. Thank goodness! I was off on a new adventure. Renting a car! I'm such an adult now! :)

I stopped in Bliss, Idaho on my way to Rexburg. Yes, Bliss! I pulled off the road just to take a picture and had to wade through sprinklers to take a self portrait of me with "Welcome to Bliss" in the background. So great. It was worth every minute and every stare I got from people as I was soaking myself in the sprinklers. Awesome.

Eventually I make it to Rexburg and enjoyed a beautiful sunset, some time with friends, and a little watching of Arrested Development with a cute boy in a park. I thought my day was complete, but the tow guy didn't. I had driven back to my best friend's apartment (I'm staying there for a couple weeks) in order to use her restroom for a second. I parked walked in, did my business, chatted for a few minutes, and walked back out to get my stuff out of the car. Apparently my old apartment complex has now started towing people after midnight. Hm... and I was one of those LUCKY people to be towed... and to pay $80 to get out of being towed. I saw him towing my car and ran after him, but he didn't stop. He was SUCH a jerk! How can you make a living off someone's "disregard" of a sign that is posted behind a tree? It just doesn't seem right to me. But, I guess all of the money he makes from stupid people like me makes up for any and all guilt he must feel.

So, the question I'm now asking is why did I spend all of this money on getting to Rexburg TODAY when I could have come for only $20 of gas money on Monday? Well, let's just say that I'm an idiot. Let's just say it and get it over with. I spent a LOT of money today and that sucks because I don't have a full-time job currently and I'm going to be on vacation for three weeks sucking more of my money away. I think I'm going to get a job at a call center while I'm here in Rexburg. Life is crazy. The end.

Why buy the whole milk factory if you can get the chocolate milk for free?

Lately I've felt really empowered, and I can't pinpoint why. Ever since I got back from Europe, I've just felt really happy and as if I wasn't going to take anything from anyone. I think part of this feeling can be attributed to my happiness in being single! I feel so free of any manipulative, messed-up relationships. I feel like if another guy who comes along exhibits any red flags, I'm out like Thursday's trash. I honestly just feel like I'm not going to put up with any more lame lies and BS.

It's interesting that I've been feeling so secure and happy at this point, because I have several friends calling me lately complaining about their dating lives. Indulge me while I tell you about one specifically: I have this friend that's really great! She has so much going for her, but can never seem to get it right with guys. Last night she detailed (and when I say detailed I mean every, MINUTE detail) to me a three-week "relationship" with this guy. I will only give YOU the reader's digest version.

This "relationship" started out said man coming over to watch a movie late at night at this girl's house. Prior to this time, they had only seen each other ONCE in passing. Well, at the end of the movie, one thing led to another and they ended up making out at the end of the movie. Now, I could have told her at that point in the diatribe that this "relationship" wasn't going to work out! If you make out right away on the first day you know someone, the guy is thinking: "Wow, why buy the ENTIRE cow if I can get the milk for free? And this is chocolate milk!"

MOVING ON... My friend continued to describe to me a four-day make out marathon that "miraculously" went downhill fast. At the end of the week, he had stopped calling as much, said that they shouldn't kiss, and included a whole slew of excuses for his behavior. The fact of the matter resides that HE'S JUST NOT INTO HER enough to want to be in a relationship with her.

I tried being euphemistically honest with my friend, but she bought into his excuses and used them as her own. She didn't want to hear anything I had to say about the relationship and why he doesn't want to kiss her/hang out with her anymore. And now she is crying about him wondering where it went wrong and why he changed in the three, short (emphasis on SHORT) weeks she's known him!

I've been that girl in my day. (Okay, saving a little dignity, maybe I wasn't QUITE so extreme about it... then again, maybe I was.) I'm happy to say that for the last while, I've grown up and matured. I'd MUCH rather be happy and single, than deal with issues that I ultimately brought upon myself in choosing to date a loser.

Tonight I have a date with a twenty-year-old who seems a little immature and already didn't call me this week like he said he would to set up the date. I can already tell that this is a down-hill situation. (Which is fine because I wasnt that interested in him anyway: Sure he's HOT, but he's twenty-one for goodness' sake.) We'll see how it goes, but either way, I have my dignity in the situation. I have faith in myself and my ability to date someone amazing. And thank goodness for that.

Romancing the Bride

Last Sunday night I was incredibly sick. I was throwing up all night long rather than sleeping. (I'm attributing this to some type of food poisoning, but it might have just been the flu. You never can tell with these things.) This was bad for two reasons. A, because throwing up is NEVER good, particularly when it's the kind where you have nothing to throw up, but you still do it anyway. And B, because the following day was the planned departure for a week-long, spring break vacation. Well, thank goodness I went anyway. And since I went and since I was sick that day while everyone else was out and about at the beach, I found I had a lot of time on my hands. I don't know if you get like this when you're sick, but when I'm not feeling well and dealing simultaneously with nausea and a migraine, I really don't feel like doing much of anything. So, I didn't. I just laid there on the couch in our condo, staring at the ocean, wishing I felt better. When this didn't work and got particularly boring, I found myself reaching for the remote and turning on the tube. To my dismay, I found some lame, girly show on the Oxygen network. I kept it on long enough just to try and figure out where I recognized the main actress from... and then it happened. Or should I say HE happened. Oh wow... the most good-looking Mexican man I have ever seen in my entire life. Even with a shirt on, you couldn't help but see his ripling pecs and biceps. It was amazing. I switched on and off from that show and James Bond just so I could get another look. I swear, that must be the ONLY way that the Oxygen channel can get people to watch their made for TV movies (this one being entitled "Romancing the Bride," I think speaks for itself)... getting extremely good-looking men on there just so women can get a second peek. Anyway, so I saw part of the cheezy, sappy, ridiculously stupid romantic comedy about some snotty American girl cum blonde, exotic damsel in distress as she randomly marries a Mexican in Mexico as she's preparing for her own wedding to an American. SO messed up, and SO funny that people write this crap. Anyway... so I watched TV and I half enjoyed it. And now I want to date someone from another country again. The End.

Get a Life: Watch TV

For the past two weeks, I've been substite teaching in a Resource classroom at a local middle school. It's been a VERY interesting job. And, although I would love to blog about that at this juncture, something more pressing/mindboggling has been weighing on my mind the past 24 hours.

Yesterday during lunch, I got into a conversation with one of the aids that works with the students in Resource. We began talking about books and then movies, which eventually led to this woman talking about television... something which admittedly I know little about. She was going on and on about a bunch of television shows that she watches and that I should watch and blah, blah, blah, blah. It really meant nothing to me and didn't really interest me in the slightest, for two reasons: A, She and I do NOT have the same taste (I can listen politely to her ideas and still disagree inwardly); and B, Because I don't hardly watch television and haven't really much at all for the past two and a half years. I brought up the afore-mentioned facts to this lady, including that I don't watch TV because I don't have time/inclination. She seemed utterly shocked at all of this, and replied exasperatedly, "Wow, you need to get a life!"
Let us pause for a moment and reflect on what truly just happened.

Here was this woman who treats fashion and celebrities as her Gods and allows TV to rule her life so much so that she sits at home on a Friday night (or any given night, for that matter) in order to watch these particular shows to which she is a slave (this is gleaned from our conversation)... this woman was telling ME that I need to "get a life" and start watching TV in order to be like her. Is this woman even happy? Is her life of television gratifying? I just don't quite follow. In the context of the conversation this woman was telling me that I needed to get a life and start watching TV rather than the intellectually, physically, spiritually, and socially-stimulating activities in which I generally participate. Hmm... interesting. It's sad to me that she'd rather watch other people living their TV lives as opposed to living her own. It's even more sad that she couldn't believe that life could/should be different for anyone else.

DISCLAIMER #1: Don't get me wrong... I'm not condemning anyone for watching TV. I don't usually care for it personally, but that's just me. TV is not the point here. It's that any one person could be shocked that I don't watch TV and choose to use my free time for other pursuits. Am I missing something here? Is it SO bad that I don't watch TV?

(**DISCLAIMER #2: I am not a self-righteous snob. Just because I don't watch TV doesn't make me any better than someone who does. That is all.)

"Where Does the Time Go? We're Waking Up So Slowly. Days Are Horizontal Lately."

I just like this lyric from the Metric song "Succexy," which happens to be the song currently playing on my page for those of you interested. Yet I digress...

So, it's Saturday, April 1st, roughly 8:30 in the AM Pacific Standard Time. My question is, what is a young woman in her early twenties (myself) doing up so early in the morning on a Saturday? Why would anyone get up so early on a Saturday unless work of some type was involved ("work"ing out included)? Well, I'll try to answer that in as concise a way as I know how at this point in time. (Concise, my foot.) Currently, I am substitute teaching for two weeks for a resource teacher in a middle school. This means that I have to be at school at 7:30 in the morning. Yeah, that's right. I said SEVEN THIRTY. (This is good for two reasons... okay, so really just one reason: I get out of school (work) at 2:30, when the rest of the blue-collared working populace doesn't get out until about two and a half hours later.) So, because I have to be to school early, I get up early during the weekdays. And even weirder (for me, that is) I've been actually going to bed "early." (For the last six or so years of my life, the average time I went to bed was somewhere around 2 AM. Now remember, average means EARLIER and LATER.) It's weird, but kind of good.

Okay... so I'm just rambling about nothing now, which we can chalk up to a sleepless night of tossing and turning. Let's just get down to it: The point I'm trying to make is that when it comes to the ONLY day of the week that I can sleep in (Saturday), I can't sleep in! I woke up today at 6 AM without an alarm and haven't been able to sleep since then. Is there something wrong with this? Yes, I think so. I WANT TO SLEEP IN! I've always been an early riser, but could at least sleep in on Saturdays. What has changed this? Has someone been slipping me some non-sleep drug that keeps me up? (Be warned that if it's YOU, watch your back. I may be little, but I can pack a punch, and you don't want to find out the hard way.) I just don't know. But, you can bet your bottom dollar I am going to get to the bottom of this. And how...

P.S. Did you notice that I was seeing how many parenthetical inclusions (or whatever you choose to call them) I could make in one simple blog? I think I did well for only a two-paragraph blog (Don't you?). That is all.

Okay, so I lied...

... and I'm willing to admit it. Well, technically I didn't lie. Not even a little, white one. I just spoke preemptively in my last blog and for that I apologize if I led you (among others) astray. Dave Eggers' book is NOTHING what I thought. I'm now close to page 200 and find it hard to make it farther than that. After reading the cleverly-crafted acknowledgment section, I was so anxious to read the book that I forced myself to stop and write a blog about how anxious I was to read it. I was SO excited after a 35-page acknowledgment section. And yet... upon entering probably somewhere in the vicinity of page 60 or 70, I realized that I had been grossly deceived. Or rather, I realized that I should have listened to everything the author had to say in his 35-page acknowledgment section: Most specifically that he wrote this book to assuage himself (or in my opinion perhaps exploit) of his major issues and life problems relating to his parents' deaths and the raising of his younger brother. Now, while I see the purpose for his book and the ultimate meaning behind it, the only thing I found staggering about it was ME trying to stagger through any and all pages after page 100. His use of stream-of-consciousness and the anecdotes he shares, although meaningful (he makes sure to vehemently point that out in the acknowledgment section), appears forced and redundant. For once in my life, I think I might willingly choose to put down a book and never finish it.

And I'm not the only one who feels this way... As I was reading this book today during substitute teaching, a teacher noticed I was reading it and mentioned (sans comment from me) how he stopped reading it because he felt that the book had already made its point by page 250... Dave Eggers life is staggering and sad and he works too hard to make everything perfect for his brother and perfect (in his own sense of the word) for himself.

I don't know... maybe I'll finish it just to see if the book actually comes together in the end. I'm just sick of wading through senseless profanity and sexual commentary/innuendos in order to derive some sort of meaning from it all. (Of course I'm exaggerating somewhat and I do see some meaning, however redundant and self-deprecating it is.) I'm taking another break and reading yet another Douglas Adams' book. I took a break from A.H.W.O.S.G. yesterday to read a Douglas Adams' book and gave up more time to 50 or so pages of A.H.W.O.S.G. now it's back to Douglas Adams again. What can I say? I'm hooked! He's the only author I'm even remotely interested in reading right now. Any suggestions for NEW books???

New Generation Evolving

There is much speculation (and some fact) to the process of evolution. That is why those from Norway are fair-skinned and have light-colored hair and those from Italy are "olive"-skinned and generally have darker hair... people indigenous to a particular area evolve over time to look and fit the area of the world they are from. Obviously nowadays this isn't necessarily true because the world has become a virtual melting pot and we no longer live in huts without telephones, technology, running water, and power. However, I believe that there is a NEW evolution taking place. I've witnessed it first-hand for the last week and a half while substituting at the local high school. And that evolution has to do with butts. Have you ever noticed how low pants are getting? I mean seriously... pants nowadays are getting SO dangerously low that girls are bound to show their crack (and most likely more) at least ten to fifteen times a day; more depending on the size/surface area of said crack in relation to the size/surface area (or lack thereof) of pants. What this all leads me to contemplate is if girls cracks are going to evolve over time to suit this trend. Are they going to somehow become lower thus extending the back? Does anyone see this as a potential problem? I mean... think about it: what if pants get SO low that there is no more room for a crack? Now THAT is a problem! Just something to think about... the new generation evolution caused by fashion plaguing us today.

A Heartbreaking Work of Dressing Your Family in Corduroy and Denim

I have been meaning to write in here for some time now and just have not devoted the crucial time to do so. I have SO many stories to tell about substituting in my old high school. Stories ranging from one girl leaving my class to go smoke pot to a student repeatedly asking me out and pestering me for my phone number to a young man printing out penii on the internet in the classroom. HIGH SCHOOL! However, at this time that is neither here nor there. What IS here is books. Lots of them. *Let me list which books I have read this year alone in chronological order: 1. Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency, 2. A Long, Dark Tea-Time for the Soul, 3. Deception Point, 4. The Magician's Nephew, 5. Franny & Zooey, 6. Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, 7. The Restaurant at the End of the Universe, 8. Life of Pi, 9. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, 10. Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, 11. Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim, and I'm currently working on numero dose A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius. (*I told you I've been reading A LOT.) The two I would like MOST to discuss are the latter two.



Yesterday I finished Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim. Best book written by a homosexual man EVER! He is a literary genius. His humor is both abrupt and subtely cynical and witty. His candor is so honest it's uncomfortable. I loved every minute of it! Each chapter is really just a reprinted short story, but it's DEFINITELY worth reading. He takes something seemingly mundane and brings out the most congenital nature of the thing through description and appropriate wit. Loved it!



Okay, onto slightly bigger and perhaps better "things"... how does one start discussing the inherent humor/wit of a book she hasn't even remotely read? Well, I'll tell you how. The author wrote a 39 page acknowledgement section that really is all I need to read to know this book is going to be PHENOMENAL, AMAZING, MIND-BLOWINGLY EXCELLENT and a whole slew of intellectual adjectives that are escaping me at the moment. (I'll attribute that to my brother watching something loudly on the Hallmark channel in the background... if you know me at all, you KNOW how I feel about TV... and it's NOT good, especially the Hallmark channel.) I just finished the "Rules and Suggestions for Enjoyment of This Book" and then the "Acknowledgement" section for A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius. Any book that exhausts the acknowledgement section (which, by the way, gives true meaning to the word "Acknowledge" with its vast and capricious acknowledging) by drawing a stapler and a labelling it saying, "This is a drawing of a stapler:" has my eternal vote. Dave Eggers: you already amaze me and I've only read the acknowledgement section. Can you imagine what I'll be saying after I read the book in its entirety?! Definitely more to come on this topic...

Getting Ready

Okay, so I am totally procrastinating getting ready. I totally LOVE showering and being clean; however, I don't like going through the actual process of it. I've been up for hours now. Why does it take me SO damn long to get in the shower? First I procrastinate by reading Harry Potter Book 5. Then, mix it up by chatting with Bennett in his room. Then back to Potter. (I REALLY just want to finish this 870 page novel again in order to get to my final destination of rereading book 6.) Then sporadic attempts at phone calls to friends I need to see today before I go back to Washington tomorrow. More Potter. Long chat with old roommate, Darcy. Listening to Radiohead. Album by album. Staring at Utah Lake and beauty of surrounding mountains. Finish Potter. Scott wakes up. Listen to Casimir Pulaski Day on repeat four times. Write back to a few emails. Talk to Scott. Check myspace. Drink of water. Bennett calls from work. Back to myspace and returning friends' comments. Chat with Reuben via gmail talk. Listen to Pinback. Thinking about listening to Hail to the Thief again because I can't get Punch Up out of my head. I love Radiohead. I need to shower. Maybe I should go running. Shower time. Maybe I'll write a blog. Why has Pinback stopped playing? I guess that means I'm out... shower time it is!

Flying to Utah on a whim...

So randomly my friend asked me to come to Utah today and then offered to pay for me to come when I said I couldn't fork out the cash. After MUCH deliberation of accepting this offer and EXCEPTIONAL coercing by the said party, I conceded. Consequently, I'm heading out at the break of dawn tomorrow! Talk about random! I'm a little nervous about this venture, because I don't know the (male) friend all that well, but it'll be fun anyway because he lives with one of my best friends. So, I'm nervous and excited and hope that this trip will be even more fun than I'm thinking it will. Yea for planes and for going on random, spontaneous trips paid for by someone else. :)

Applying for Grad School & GRE

Aaaahhh! I'm officially finishing up an application for grad school, which took all of about 10 minutes. Kid stuff, really. However, I'm now realizing that in order to finish said application, I must take the dang GRE! I have such an aversion to taking/studying for this test that I've been putting it off FOR MONTHS! I just don't want to take another standardized test, thank you very much. However, in order to get into any decent grad school, I must. Anyone have any good tips/books for studying? I need to get on that as soon as is humanly possible, specifically studying for the language portion, as I will be studying English for my masters. Ah, the joys of schooling!

Another Identity Crisis!

Okay, so I'm going through an identity crisis right now. I thought that I'd cleverly get online and find a picture of ONE other person named Sarah Russell to use on my myspace profile. However, that was not the case. I found a plethora of pictures of people calling themselves "Sarah Russell"... one was an old lady with a dating service, quite a few were doctors, one was an actress (there goes MY acting career and STAGE NAME!), and a couple of them even went to Harvard. (Now there's an idea...) Who am I? What does a name mean? "That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet," right? At least I'm the ONLY Sarah Elizabeth Ann Russell I've ever heard of. But, what differentiates me from the thousands of Sarah Russells out there? What makes me truly unique? That's what I am left to contemplate for the remainder of... well, of whatever time I designate. I'm thinking of writing a book about this. Maybe using these pictures and Sarah Russells' websites to write a chapter about each Sarah somehow mingling myself in there. It's a work in progress, so just get off my back! I'll let you know when the book's written and you can all run out and by it to find the answer to THIS and many other important crises in the life of ONE Sarah Elizabeth Ann Russell, extraordinaire :)

Marriage Mania: When's YOUR deadline?

Wow, two things... A, I'm a little perturbed because I spent time writing a blog a couple days ago that apparently didn't work on here. B, As I was signing into MSN messenger, this "MSN Today" page came up displaying an article entitled "Marriage Mania: What's Your Deadline?". After attending BYU-Idaho for five years, the title of this article naturally intrigued me. So, I read it. And I think you should too. It's both humorous AND insightful. Tell me what you think. I was surprised to see this article outside of a NON-mormon magazine/newspaper. REAL girls (and by "real," I mean non-mormon women) want to get married young too. I guess I hadn't realized that after living in a bubble for so long. Anyway... read it and let me know what you think of it. Bye now.