Questions to Ask Before Marriage

Years ago, when I was a wee little student at BYU-Idaho, I took an Eternal Marriage class. During said class, the teacher gave out a list of potential questions to ask a future spouse before marriage (preferably during the engagement). I've been thinking often about this list and about important discussions to have with Evan before we get married. Unfortunately, I lost the list. Fortunately, I found a non-mormon list of questions engaged couples should ask online.

We both feel like we know each other fairly well after dating for nearly 3 years. In fact, many of the questions on the list we barely skimmed over because we've had thousands of discussions about some of these topics. In spite of that, Evan and I spent literally hours and hours talking about it on the phone this morning. We were almost late to our 2PM church. But, we learned a lot and it sparked a lot of discussion about some things I wouldn't have thought to ask (e.g. Will you refill the toilet paper roll?).

Evan and I are trying to prepare ourselves as best as we can. I think that through 3 years of thoughtful discussions, we really are improving our relationship and laying a groundwork for the future. Because I've never been married, I am just curious about what some important issues are to think about and discuss BEFORE marriage in order to make the transition to marriage a little smoother.

My question to you, dear friends, is: What do you feel are important questions to ask before marriage?

29. May 1991

Although I was only 9, my life changed more dramatically on May 29th, 1991 than on any other day before or since. It was the day my mother died. It was the day I grew up. It was the day I found out the Church of Jesus Christ was true.

Every time May 29th looms, I contemplate what that day has meant to me in my life. Yes, the day my father died was very challenging, but May 29th signified the first REAL loss I'd ever felt in my life. It also signified the first time I asked God about the church and received a very real answer.

I'm grateful for the reminder this day serves to me, even if it does involve loss. I know that I am a better person in spite of my parents' deaths. I know that I have learned and grown so much through this trial. I also know that someday I will see my parents again, and we will be able to rejoice with them the lives they led and (HOPEFULLY!) the life I have lived in their memories.

P.S. Yesterday I realized that I've now lived 18 years without my mother. That's exactly 2/3 of my life.

Lost Job Now Found

I have a job!


Photo via here

I feel really blessed that I'll have a full-time job next year teaching Language Arts at a middle school in my district. I am being transferred, which is actually really good news, as opposed to losing a job entirely and having to find a job in a new district.

Although I'll miss teaching German, I'm excited to be teaching Language Arts again next year. I've missed teaching English!

Gratitude needs to be expressed for this HUGE blessing in my life. Evan and I weren't sure how it was all going to work out with us getting married, me finding a new job, and Evan starting school in the fall. Heavenly Father is definitely mindful of us and has given us much to help us start our lives together. Thanks for all of your support!

Memorial Day Activity

Along with the rest of the greater Seattle area, Evan and I hiked to the top of Mt. Si yesterday. Mt. Si is a popular mountain in these here parts that has a height of over 4,000 feet. It's a 4-mile (one-way) hike not including the Class 4 Scramble to get to the haystack at the very top. Many people do not complete the scramble to get to the top because of how steep it is and the fact that you are scrambling up a cliff face. A few people have actually died falling off of said cliff face (mostly because of stupidity and the fact that they were inebriated).

Naturally, Evan and I scrambled up to the top which boasts a wonderful view of Mt. Rainier and the surrounding area. I'm grateful for God's creations which are both humbling and energizing.

Chillin' after eating our PB&Js


On the way back down the other side


Alternate view from the top

The countdown begins...

I've always heard people say that engagement is an unusual time in a person's life, but very important preparation for marriage. I am now starting to understand what people mean. Honestly, it's not too different than the past 3 years of dating Evan have been. I guess the biggest difference for us is planning out how we're going to combine our lives and assets even more than we have up to this point. I'm realizing, however, that entails more than I formerly realized.

Consequently, Thursday I took a personal day at work. I spent an hour or so crying in the morning just to relieve the stress of everything I've been feeling lately: Stress for my month-long exchange to Germany and also for my pending marriage! Marriage is a big deal and along with it comes much responsibility, but also many blessings. I'm really excited to marry Evan and to no longer worry about some of the hassles associated of dating. I'm also sad to let go of some pieces of my life, such as my last name and personal accounting.

As Evan held me in his arms and let me cry on Thursday, I realized that even though there will be many changes in the coming months, I get to spend my life with someone who loves me and whom I also love. I have a person to make decisions with, a person to overcome life challenges with, a person that I can support and be supported by in turn. I know that marriage won't be easy, but I do know that so many blessings come along with it. I'm excited to take this next step in my life... only 10 more weeks!

Trip Successful

My sister, Nicole, and I drove 2 1/2 hours Tuesday after school to find me a dress at a modest dress shop. My former roommate, Darcy, met up with us and it was fun to try on dresses and hear everyone's opinion.

Bad news = most of the dresses were too big on me!

Good news = I found a dress, even though they only had a size 14 (12 sizes too big!) for me to try on

Thankfully, I was able to try on other sizes in the same style to determine the size I'll need. The dress will arrive 1 week after I leave for Germany. I'm really hoping to find a seamstress before then who will be able to hem said dress as well as to put a French bustle on.

What? You want to see the dress? I'm afraid you'll have to wait until the wedding day, just like Evan. :)

One Postcard

My friend, Evan MacDonald, is a graphic designer, and an excellent one at that! I always enjoy his artistic creativity.

Recently, for one of his graphic design classes, he created a website entitled One Postcard. I think the premise of the site is very interesting, especially since I'm a big fan of postcards. So, check it out and even participate if you feel so inclined.

The Wedding Dress

I love this dress! I found it a few weeks ago as I was searching for 50's style dresses online. If I could find this as a wedding dress, my life would be that much closer to being complete.


Finding a dress.. that's the ONLY thing I feel truly stressed about in the midst of hosting a German exchange, planning to go to Germany for a month, and planning a wedding! I feel like I'm having a hard time finding a modest wedding dress.

As far as I know, there are (virtually) NO modest dresses in the greater Seattle area. Evan's mom considered making me a dress, but I think it'd be too much of a hassle and there's not enough time.

SO... right now I'm in the midst of trying to find a beautiful dress in which to be wed. I've tried on a few dresses at a local bridal shop (all immodest of course) to see what styles fit well to my body. Here is a dress I found that looks beautiful on:


I'm scouring online "modest" dress sites and hoping to find one that will ship SUPER fast, as I leave for Germany in less than 6 weeks and it needs to be here before then. Anyone have any website suggestions or general dress suggestions?

Die Zukunft

Sometimes I want time to fast forward
Rid myself of anxious anticipation
Liberated from fear of the unknown
The future
Mysterious and vague
Yet ripe with meaning
Full of the thoughts of today
And the actions of tomorrow
I’m ready for it

A Long-Awaited Engagement Story...

I apreciate your patience in waiting for me to type up how Evan and I got engaged on Saturday. Needless to say, the past few days have been CRAZY! Not only have I been in the thick of wedding plans, but I've also been teaching, preparing to go to Germany 6 weeks from today, and preparing for 25 German exchange students' arrival on Saturday. Yep, life has officially become hectic! Thank you all so much for your congratulations and support. I appreciate the kindness more than I can express. :)


So, here goes... First, I must provide a preface to this story to make sure that you understand exactly what went on:

1. 5-6 years ago, Evan got hit by a truck while riding his bike, thus comatizing him for a few days and causing head trauma. He still suffers minor effects from this and must be careful. It's possible that if he were to have another head injury, he might not survive or else might have some major impairments. He has had some major accidents since then (one of which inducing a concussion), but thankfully, he has been okay.
2. A few months ago when Evan and I went to look at engagement rings, I made the mistake of telling him that I wanted to be surprised when we became engaged. The story that follows is a direct result of that conversation...

Because I wasn't feeling well on Saturday, Evan and I gave up our plans of rock climbing and decided to head up to Seattle with our friends Garrin and Melissa. Evan and Garrin mountain biked at this cool park under the freeway while Melissa and I went to Pike's Place Market in hopes of finding some wonderful Mother's Day treasures.

When Melissa and I had virtually exhausted the shopping possibilities Pike's Place had to offer, we headed to pick the boys up from mountain biking. As we begin driving over to the moutain bike park, I receive a call from Evan who informs me that he has crashed his bike. At first, I thought it was no big deal. He has crashed his bike PLENTY of times doing tricks. Feeling the need to be kind, I asked him if he was hurt. He said that his helmet was cracked and he was pretty sure that he had a concussion. Not only that, but he continued to repeat himself 4-5 times on the phone, telling me that I needed to get over there fast! My brain went straight into panic mode!

While I was trying to calm my nerves, Melissa, who was in on the secret, started telling me about when Garrin was comatose for 1 week after an accident. This definitely did not help the panic that was quickly settling into my chest.

When we arrived on the scene, I noticed Evan's head are in his hands, his scrapes, scratches, and the dirt patches on his shirt were readily apparent. He showed me the cracks in his helmet and I knew that we needed to get him medical attention, even though I knew he wouldn't want to go.

For some reason, Evan got out his camera and handed it to Melissa to take a picture of us (hence the video). Before I could even think about it and before we could even take a picture, Evan started rubbing his head and coughing up blood. Although in the video, I look calm and unconcerned, inwardly I was freaking out! Considering Evan's past history and the fact that I've had 2 parents die, I thought the worst!

Melissa shouted that she was going to call 911. I waited for her to call and decided she wasn't calling fast enough, so I stood up to call. As I did so, Evan grabbed my hand and asked if I could do him a favor and then he asked me to marry him! I was SO MAD! I couldn't believe I'd been tricked so badly! I had been so worried and anxious. I also couldn't believe that he involved FAKE BLOOD in a proposal to me! :)

As you can see in the video, I walked away and wouldn't talk to him for a little bit. Eventually, after I got over being mad, I said yes and we laughed about the whole thing. I still had anxiety for an hour afterwards, though!



Come to find out later, he actually really did crash his bike and crack his helmet at the beginning of his mountaing biking venture, only it wasn't as bad as he faked. This happened to add to the effect of the whole fake blood situation. Even though my proposal involved fake blood, I'm grateful that Evan thought of a way to propose where I had no idea... even when he was down on one knee! It was sweet of him to think hard how he could surprise me and give me a great story to tell the grandchildren someday! :)

Dear Mom

Dear Mom,

I got engaged yesterday and I’m getting married in August. I really think you’d like him and that he’d like you too. I wish you were here so that I could tell you about it in person. I wish you were here so that we could make wedding plans together and you could help me pick out my dress, telling me stories of when you picked out your own wedding dress and planned your wedding to Dad. I’d love to hear those stories and know what life was like for you. I know that you’d have a lot of insight from which I could learn.

Mom, I want you to know that I missed you a lot today. I missed you so much my heart hurt and it made me cry. You know what I realized, though? I have been given so many women in my life who care about and love me. I know that they are here to help do what you would do were you alive. I know that you’re grateful for them too, so I thanked them for you.

I miss you, Mom. I hope you know that I’m still thinking about you on Mother’s Day, nearly 18 years after your death. I am still glad that you are my mom and I your daughter. I’ll be thinking about you as I plan my wedding, knowing that you wish you could be there too. I love you a lot!

Love,
Your little Sarse

P.S. Say hi to Dad.

12 Week Timeline

The next three months of my life are going to be CRAZY! Here is a quick timeline:

*May 16th-June 7th: Host 25 German exchange students.
*May 29th: Find out if I got a teaching job to which I applied. If not, keep looking!
*June 23rd-July 21st: Participate in an exchange to Germany for 4 weeks.
*July 25th: Receive my endowment in the temple.
*August 1st: Get married to Evan.

P.S. In case you didn't notice what the last line said, I got engaged to Evan today. You won't believe the story when I tell you. In fact, you probably won't believe right now when I say it involved fake blood. Yes, I said fake blood to reference my engagement. I told you that you wouldn't believe me. More details and a video to follow.

Tulip Festival & Bellingham Excursion

For about 6 months now, Evan and I have been talking with our friend, Angela, about going to the Skagit Valley Tulip Festival. She's lived in Washington for 3 years and had never been. Evan has lived in Washington off and on for 27 years and had never been. So, we set a date and went for it! (For those of you who don't know, Skagit Valley is home to MANY beautiful and amazing fields of tulips. They also have an accompanying festival every year. It's kind of a big deal. See more info HERE.)



We went up to the tulip festival and had a blast! Afterwards, we drove up another 30 minutes to Bellingham to see a Berlin Wall Exhibit I've been wanting to see. Although the photo exhibit was kind of a let down, I got to see THE SHINS setting up for their show. Yep, you read correctly. I saw The Shins! It was awesome. I snuck into where they were practicing and just got to watch them for a while as one of the only (well, 1 of 4) people watching them practice. Awesome.

Although I went to Bellingham in January, I didn't get the chance to see the Western Washington University campus. The artwork there was CRAZY! It included little green men wearing suitcoats, but no pants. They even were anatomically correct, as you can see in the picture below. Here are a fun examples. (Yes, Evan is on top of that red triangular structure.



All in all, it was a great day with great friends. I love those days of laughter, good conversation, tulips, and road trips.

Roses Amongst the Thorns

(Flowers from Evan)


Monday was a really hard day. I was very emotional and was holding back tears for a majority of the day. Tuesday started out about the same, that is, until I read all of your lovely comments. Friends, you are a great support! It also didn't hurt that Evan brought me flowers and gave me a Priesthoood blessing. I felt so much better.

I am incredibly blessed to have good family and friends in my life that love and support me. I truly do know that everything will work out for me. I may not have the job I hoped to have, but I know that whatever does happen, God will put me where I need to be to learn the most. I am hopeful for the future. Thanks again for your support and love. I needed your thoughts and prayers this week. You have no idea how much your support has meant to me!

Let me end with a story about a girl named Sarah (ME) who was teaching in Hawaii last year. Mid-school year, my job ended and I had no idea what I was going to do mid-school year to find a new job! (And we all know how expensive it is to live in Hawaii... I definitely NEEDED A JOB!) At first, I stressed out. I wanted to teach, but didn't know if that would be possible. And then I turned it over to Heavenly Father. I prayed and served others. I went to work doing what I could to find a job. And guess what? I ended getting a better job than the one I had before. I was able to teach Senior English and AP Literature and Composition! Usually teachers have to work YEARS to get a teaching position like that. I was fortunate enough to have that experience to teach me that things work out. Heavenly Father knows each and every one of us. I know that if I am striving to do what He has asked me to do, He will bless me in ways I cannot even imagine.

Thanks again for your kind words. They did not go unnoticed. I've kept them safely in my heart all week.