Halloween 2011 and Ward Halloween Party

EHS Oktoberfest 2011

Each year, the German Program at my school holds an annual Oktoberfest. This has been going on since 1992. I'm pretty sure the same band has also played at each Oktoberfest since then, but I was only a part of 4 of them during the 90's while a student at the high school.

Well, since I am the German Program, I put on the event for the 3rd time in my career! We had the superintendent of the school district there, 3 of our high school's principals, and the school and local newspaper! Over 300 people attended. It was a SMASHING success. Last year, my students and I had the genius idea to create a "face in the hole" Bavarian board. My students went to work buying the supplies and painting a MAGNIFICENT board. We used the picture board again, we had fun faux gingerbread necklaces for the children to paint, a fingerhakeln competition, and best of all our token Bavarian band and dance!

One of the best parts of the night was when I surprised my students by singing a song they had memorized while the band was on break. My students were SO HAPPY and SO SURPRISED that they got to sing that song! They loved it!

The band...

Crow & Cat Are Friends

Sometimes friends come up in the most unlikely places! I saw this video today while looking up the most DELICIOUS recipe for "Creamy Avocado Pasta." I think the premise of the video is awesome. I know that I also have friends that are opposite of me and people find it hard to believe that we've been friends for years. I love the ending where the couple (who've been together 51 years!) give the reminder that friendships form in unlikely places and we shouldn't be too quick to judge those around us because we never know the blessings that may come from taking the time to get to know someone new! :) Enjoy!

Surviving a Miscarriage

image via HERE for Infant Loss Day, October 15th

Last summer, I found out while I was in Germany that I was pregnant. After coming back from Germany, I started bleeding. I lived through 4 weeks of bleeding , 2 weeks of worrying why my pregnancy hormone (HCG) levels were not dropping while I was bleeding, 2 weeks of getting my arms poked with needles to test my HCG levels every other day, severe cramping, and that’s nothing to say for the emotional trauma I went through. It was not a fun experience to say the least. 

I feel very blessed that Heavenly Father guided me to having the foresight to get my progesterone levels checked BEFORE we started trying to have a baby. I found out at the end of May that my progesterone levels were low and that I may not be able to get pregnant on my own, let alone be able to sustain a pregnancy without progesterone. I’m glad I had that in my back of my mind after I found out I was pregnant just so that I was a little more mentally prepared when I started bleeding and ultimately found out I was miscarrying. 

Still, the struggle was not easy. I cried briefly after it was confirmed that I was going through a miscarriage. And then I didn’t allow myself to cry for a few weeks. I felt like I had to steel my heart away from the pain of the miscarriage to remain sane. It wasn’t until the birth of my sister’s baby that I broke down. It was so awesome to be there and be able to witness the birth of my nephew, but that night it was so hard watching both of my sister nursing their babies side by side knowing that my own baby wasn’t going to make it. As I got into bed that night, I laid down and cried. And Evan held me. The loss of a pregnancy, especially because we had no other children, was acute. Being at first surprised with a pregnancy I didn’t know could happen on its own with such low progesterone levels and then allowing myself to get excited about the prospect of the pregnancy… then the loss of the hope of that excitement. Every baby I looked at was a reminder of what I lost. I felt like EVERY woman was a mother and I was the only one not in the “mom club.” But, that wasn’t really why I was sad. Those were merely reminders of my sadness, but they weren’t the reason why. The reason why is complex. Part of it is that I couldn’t understand why something like this would happen to me. Both of my sisters had fine pregnancies without any mishaps and now have healthy children. WHY ME?! Why am I the only one who has trouble with sustaining a pregnancy?

Then there was the fact that I do want to be a mother. I do want a child. Even though it scared me, I feel more ready for that responsibility than ever before. The pain of that loss and worrying that I may never have a child pressed deep into my soul. I was distraught beyond words but had to repress it. I had to show a happy face to everyone else even though inwardly I was struggling deeply. Would I ever have a child? Would I ever become pregnant again? These are still questions that haunt me. I don’t know the answer, but I do have a little more peace now than I did before.

Another added complexity was Evan’s excitement about being a father. Ever since we got married, Evan has wanted to be a father. In fact, I’d say that he wants to be a father more than I want to be a mother (which is saying something!). He loves kids and was SO excited when he found out that we were going to be having our first child. He said he loved me even more than he thought possible now that I was going to be the mother of his child. To see him let down and help me through this struggle made it even harder. I want to have a child with him. I want to be parents and raise a child, our child, together. Losing this baby meant that we may not ever share that together. It was heartbreaking.

So I allowed myself to break down twice and have since pushed all of those sad feelings away. The struggle now lies in that I’m numb. When I think about having a child or being a mother, I feel numb. How do I get rid of these feelings? How do I let go of the past and hope again that I can be a mother someday?

The good news is that I CAN get pregnant. The bad news is that it’s tricky taking progesterone to ensure that I can keep the pregnancy. I don’t want to go through another miscarriage. I don’t think I can deal with another heartbreak like that again. I’m hoping through continued prayer that I can find peace, that I can gain comfort, that I can hear the guidance from Heavenly Father about the next steps I should take in my life.

Pumpkin Farina Delight

I woke up this morning craving both farina cereal (malt-o-meal) AND pumpkin. I had never heard of the two combined, but I thought, surely, in the vast global internet someone had thought to combine the two things! After a cursory internet search, I found that was right: Pumpkin Farina topped with granola. I tweaked the granola part to include sliced almonds instead of pecans. I was also really excited to use my beautiful bowls from the Czech Republic. LOVE the polka dots!

This recipe was like eating a steaming bowl of pumpkin pie... but even better than pumpkin pie! It was creamy, delicious, AND topped with honey, buttery granola goodness. I think I might make this as an after-Thanksgiving dinner dessert! People might think I'm crazy, but not when you taste the deliciousness involved here. If you love fall and love the pumpkin family, this recipe is for you!


Recipe found in the article, "With a little imagination, breakfast porridge can take on a new life"
BY ROSEMARY BLACK
Sunday, January 02, 2005

For farina: 3 cups milk 1 cup canned pumpkin 9 tablespoons maple syrup 1/4 teaspoon ground ginger 1/4 teaspoon allspice Pinch of salt 1/2 cup farina

For granola: 1 cup oats 1 cup pecans 1/2 cup shredded sweetened coconut 1/2 cup sunflower seeds 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon 1/4 cup brown sugar 1/4 cup butter 1 tablespoon honey

Preheat the oven to 325 degrees. Prepare farina: In a saucepan, mix milk, pumpkin, maple syrup, spices and salt and bring to a boil. Add the farina, stir well, and cook until thickened. To prepare the granola, toss together all the dry ingredients. Microwave the butter and honey until melted. Pour over the dry ingredients; mix well. Spread mixture onto sheet pan and bake for 7 minutes, or until lightly toasted. Spoon farina into bowls. Top with granola and serve hot.

Football

I'll be the first to admit I really don't know much about football and I don't really care that much about it either. Meanwhile, I have decided to work at all home football games this year as ticket/gate/stand duty extraordinaire. Tonight was our homecoming game. We lost, but I still got paid for my four hours working. Nice. Wearing a hot, sexy orange vest is also a bonus not to mention the walkie talkie. I can now be classified as an adult.

P.S. Pictured with me is my coworker and "work spouse," Lyndsey. I think we spend more time together at work than Evan and I spend together at home! I guess hence the reason she is my "work spouse!"