Thanksgiving 2013

Ever since Evan and I moved back from Hawaii in 2008, we established the tradition of going to his family's house for Thanksgiving lunch and spending time with my family for Thanksgiving dinner. Unfortunately, Harrison's continued eye infection put a damper on the evening meal because we were worried about my sister's new baby. (I don't think Harrison was contagious and he was almost healed, but why take a chance?!)

Making cinnamon rolls with daddy

We went as a family to Evan's parents house with his Washington siblings and their families. The kids had a blast playing together! After dinner, the husbands and I (the sole woman who goes on walks with the kids) took the kids on a walk to a nearby creek. Harrison was SO cute trying to "throw" a rock like his cousins, which basically entailed him letting the rock fall from his hand as he held it as high as he could in the air. It was precious! We enjoyed our walk, although it still is hard if Harrison wants to walk by himself because he gets easily distracted and we had to keep up with the other kids. Not to mention that there was a creek, so we clearly were concerned with letting him just run around! Other than that, we had fun.

First Thanksgiving Turkey! He loved the homemade rolls best, though.

When Harrison started getting really tired, Evan took me to where my family was gathering so I could still see everyone even though Harrison and Evan couldn't come. The plan was that Evan would get Harrison down for a nap while I spent some time and then got a ride home with my sister. I later found out that Harrison only took a little cat nap in the car and then wouldn't take a nap when he got home! I guess he was a bear the whole three hours or so I was gone. Poor guy and poor Evan!

I, however, enjoyed spending time with my Oma and with my brother-in-law's family with whom I'm very close. (He raised me so his family has been MY family for the past 23+ years!) I got to snuggle my little nephew so his mom could eat dinner and got to chat with so many family members. In some ways, it was really weird to not have to worry about chasing Harrison, but in others it was nice to have a little down time! All in all, it was a good Thanksgiving celebration. I have come to realize more and more over the years the important role that family plays in my life. My sisters are my best friends and the first people I turn to when times get tough. I am so blessed to live close to both of them now and to live close to so many other family members!

I tried hard this month to be consciously grateful every day. We have been given so much. We have our needs fulfilled and many of our wants too. Sure, we could do with more, but we are satisfied with what we have! I am so grateful to my Heavenly Father for giving me so many rich blessings, the most important of which are my husband and son.

Don't mind the hand-me-down shirt. We didn't have time to change him after his nap because we had to leave!

He loved throwing rocks and watching the other kids throw rocks.

Only family Thanksgiving photo we got

He LOVED watching grandma make whipped cream... and REALLY loved sampling it!

Holding my nephew so my sister could eat

My Oma and I

My sister, Oma, and I

The Christmas Picture that Almost Made the Cut...

Truth be told, this picture is actually better than the picture I chose for our Christmas card, but it didn't look as good when I put on the wording. My sister took them last Saturday right during Harrison's nap time. Also, he was (IS!) sick. In order to keep him functional for pictures, I gave him a lollipop as incentive.

Here is an outtake from our pictures that I posted on instagram last weekend. It still is cracking me up! Apparently, the lollipop only lasted so long! :)

Day at the Zoo

Last Friday, in spite of the beginnings of a cold, Harrison and I went up to Seattle to go to the zoo with one of my best friends, Christina! Harrison LOVES Christina! He gave her his first ever kiss and he also called her a few weeks back, the first and only phone call he's ever made! :) Apparently, he is going for the older women.


We had a fun time. Harrison was SO shy at the beginning, but ended up having fun running around when we let him out of the stroller. His favorite animals were the lions! He loved watching the lion cubs play. He also was just STARING at the giraffes and elephants. It was funny watching his little mind work as he watched the animals. I bet once he gets a little older, he will really love the zoo because of the animals and not because of the huge "park" to run around in. Then again, maybe not! Harrison started having a melt down as the sun was going down and we were on the opposite side of the park from our car. He wanted to continue to run around and we were trying to get him into his stroller to walk back to the car. It's at times like these that I wish I would have brought a sucker with me to keep him happy while we stroller around. This guy doesn't like strollers for some reason, he never really has!

One funny thing about our zoo experience was that we found a bird called a "Kea" (pronounced key-uh) who was known for its insatiable curiosity and destructive behavior. I thought this description pretty much typified the stage that Harrison is in right now!

There was a peacock right when we walked into the zoo that walked SO close to us! (I wanted to pet him, but Christina wouldn't let me.) It made me SO happy! Also, did I mention how obsessed I am with peacocks?! Yeah, I totally am. I love them. If I didn't own a dog who would chew through that peacock in a New York minute, I would seriously consider having one just roaming around my back yard. Peacocks are an acceptable pet, right?

 

He loved looking at the lights!

Crappy picture, but he LOVED riding this bear at the end before we had to high-tail it to the car with a screaming child in-tow!

Our Journey with Sleep Training

Our journey with sleep training has been an interesting one! Thankfully, at 16 months, Harrison is now putting himself to sleep. However, a few months ago, we were still rocking him to sleep for naps and nursing him to sleep at bed time. That wasn't what we had planned on doing BEFORE we had our child, but it was what we had to do in order to survive.

You see, we realized you can read as many parenting and sleep books as possible, but nothing can fully prepare you for being a first-time parent. No book knows your child, their unique temperament and issues. A baby doesn't come with a manual of what to do when "X" happens, even though I'm sure we all have wished for that at one point!

Our journey with Harrison was no different. He was born in an unplanned home birth. He did great for the first few days nursing and even slept fairly well during the night. However, at 5 days old, he started sleeping more and more and wanted to nurse less and less. By one week old, he hadn't pooped in 5 days and wasn't gaining back any of the weight he had lost after he was born. We frantically called the midwife who helped deliver our son asking what we should do. After getting his blood tested, we realized he still had high levels of bilirubin in his blood (aka was jaundiced), which was causing him to be sleepy and not as interested in eating as much as he should. This resulted in having him weighed every 2 days, pumping for 30 minutes after every feeding to give him the extra milk, and even supplementing him with my sisters' donated breastmilk.

Finally, at 3 weeks old, he returned to his birth weight and we breathed a sigh of relief. While he was still jaundiced, it wasn't enough for concern and he was slowing getting healthier and healthier. It was at this point, we attempted to begin sleep training as per the method suggested in Baby Wise, because my husband and I had determined that this followed along our goal of getting Harrison to fall asleep in his bed on his own. When Harrison woke up, I nursed him in order to establish an eat-play-sleep routine. I did everything the book suggested. I removed any sleep props from his surroundings (in this case, it was simply not using a pacifier). After rocking to soothe him, I laid him in his bed while he was still awake so he could get used to putting himself to sleep. And then he was supposed to fall asleep. But, he didn't. Even though he was clearly tired, he lay awake for sometimes up to an hour and a half with me trying to sing and rock his bassinet to lull him to sleep.

I was trying to do everything right, but I felt defeated. I felt like a horrible mom who must be doing something wrong. I also felt overwhelmed at the amount of time I was spending nursing and then trying to get my child to sleep! I hardly had time to eat and shower, let alone even time to spend with my child outside of nursing and sleeping.

After hours of trying and MANY tears of frustration, one day I accidentally rocked him to sleep in my arms instead of helping him go to sleep in his bassinet. I carefully set him down... and he stayed sleeping! I felt so free to have time to eat and relax for those extra minutes that I would have otherwise spent trying to get him to fall asleep on his own that I continued to rock him to sleep, because it was easier.

That worked for several months. However, gradually, it became a little more difficult as he became more alert and eventually could sit up on his own. As he grew bigger, it became harder for us to hold him in our arms and sometimes he didn't want us to cradle him. We kept talking about and even would try sleep training, but there were always roadblocks in our way: we had guests from Germany coming to stay for a month and we didn't want him to cry himself to sleep or wake them up.

After they left, my husband started working on getting Harrison to sleep on his own during naps by following a routine to calm him down: wrapping him in a blanket, singing, rocking him until he was drowsy and then putting him in his crib. He patted his back until Harrison fell asleep. However, while this worked great for my husband, it was not working at all for me! My son would just scream and scream. He was 10 months old at that time.

At this point, I was back to being overwhelmed and frustrated. I felt so stressed every time I had to put my son down for a nap or down for bed, because it took forever and wasn't always successful! Also, I was worried about letting Harrison cry in the night during a month-long trip to Germany we were taking when he was 11 months old.

Our Germany trip and the subsequent jet lag pushed sleep training back even farther. It wasn't until Harrison was 14 months old, that sleep training came naturally as the result of exhaustion and frustration. One day, Harrison was exhausted and would let me cradle him or even hold him. I tried for 15 minutes or more to get him to go to sleep and it wasn't working. Knowing he needed a nap, I simple put him in his bed and patted his back. He let me pat his back while still crying and eventually put himself to sleep! The next nap, I did the same thing. It worked miraculously!

Eventually, Harrison wouldn't let me pat his back anymore and would just stand up in his crib. I had to let him cry at that point. It took him a little while to get the hang of it, crying off and on for up to an hour a few different times. However, this truly led to where we are now at 16 months. I follow a small routine with Harrison to calm him down of singing, rocking in the rocking chair, giving him his blanket and then laying him in his crib. He cries usually for a maximum of 2 minutes (usually only 20 seconds) before putting himself to sleep. It has been SO nice to have that extra time back in my life and to have the stress of trying to put him to sleep out of my life. Knowing he can soothe himself has eased my mind during the times when he has taken a little bit longer to go down to sleep.

Even though I know it has taken us a while to get where we wanted to be, I feel like we've learned a valuable lesson about what we are capable of and what is best for our child. No matter what we tried, he simply wasn't at a point (and I don't think we were either!) where he could fully soothe himself to sleep.

Finding my Niche

 I have officially been a stay-at-home mom for about three months now. In some ways, I'm still in denial that I am actually a stay-at-home mom. I think about school and my classroom often, but generally those thoughts are filled with anxiety. While teaching last year was very rewarding, it also came at a high price. I had no "me time," let alone enough time with my child and husband. It was riddled with running from one place to the next: home to nurse during my planning period and lunch. Rushing to get Harrison and I ready in the morning so I could hurry off to school. Rushing to get out of school so I could get to Harrison. My life was being lived at a frantic pace and I had barely any time to do anything but the essentials and hardly that. (Thankfully, I have wonderful sisters who came to my rescue in helping me decorate my house after I moved in otherwise my walls would probably still be bare!)

This leave of absence brought with it a lot more calm, peaceful moments. Whereas before I was usually at school when Harrison napped, I now am able to make dinner, clean, catch up with friends & family, and occasionally even find some time for myself! It has been glorious to get back in touch with who I am as a mother, wife, friend, and sister.

While I wouldn't trade my time with my son for anything in the world, I do feel that it has come at a price. You see, I love teaching. Ever since I was 3 years old and understood what school was, I wanted to be a teacher! For years, I would play school with my little sister. When I finally entered school myself, I often volunteered during recess and other times to tutor younger students. My whole life has been focused on achieving my goal of becoming a teacher, not just to teach, but to care about and (HOPEFULLY!) make a difference in the lives of my students. I received such positive feedback from my students and felt that I was doing just that. I loved it. Even amidst the daily stresses and difficult moments, I loved my job and wouldn't have traded it for a higher-paying, less-satisfying job. I loved my students, I loved teaching German, I loved coordinating an international exchange. I felt like I was making a difference in the world.

When I made the choice to take a leave of absence this school year, I knew it was the right one. I felt at peace. I knew I wanted and needed more time to be with my child, more time to be me again. However, I am now feeling a small void. I am left wondering HOW I can continue to give back to my community. I wonder how I can continue to make a difference in the world.

I know that what I am doing in raising my son to be an intelligent, compassionate, perceptive member of society is very important. I don't take lightly the weight on my shoulders of all I must teach him! I know that what I do at home does matter a great deal, which is why I chose to be home to raise my son. But, I still long to be a part of something bigger. I long to work to achieve new goals and give back outside of my lifelong dream of teaching.

There are several thoughts brewing in my head as to what that may mean: pursuing a writing career, becoming a doula, hosting play groups at my house. Some ideas are big, while some are small and manageable. I am carefully analyzing my new goals to determine, within the boundaries of motherhood, what I am willing and capable of achieving. I can't wait to start my journey of finding my niche as a stay-at-home mom!

What are some ways you choose to give back to your community, church, friends, while balancing your role as a mother and wife? (Or, in the case of male readers, as husband and father?)

Project Toddler: 16 Months & Food Allergies

WHAT?! 16 months? How did this past month fly by so quickly? It seems like yesterday we were celebrating 15 months, but my how the weeks are flying by. The days... not so much. :) I'm going to be honest here: Some days are really rough. I had a realization this last month that I think Harrison has some combination of food allergies, stomach issues, and acid reflux. He wakes ALMOST nightly (usually there is once a month where I get more than a few hours of sleep in a row) with gas pains. I'm telling you, it can be very wearing to have a toddler who is tired and grumpy who wants to be held yet doesn't want to be held, who wants to be entertained yet wants you to leave him to play.

Generally, Harrison knows exactly what he wants. But, when he doesn't get restful sleep than he can be incredibly whiny and irritable. It can be so hard to be kind and patient when I don't get sleep either! I do usually handle it fairly well, but am so glad for places to get out of the house when Harrison is tired but not yet ready for a nap. I gave him so probiotics for the past three days and that seemed to help him actually sleep for 8-9 hours in a row two nights in a row, which is a miracle for this boy! I'm hoping to find some answers when we got to the doctor, although I'm aware that there may not be any. Some things I found that he struggles with are: eggs, dairy, and peas. His face also broke out red a few times in the past week: Once with cinnamon that got on his face, and once with baby food that had mangoes in it. I'm fairly certain it was the mangoes causing an issue and not the other ingredients. Hm... So hard to pin point what the problem is! I wish I could just do a simple, non-invasive allergy test to figure it out. The doctor will do a blood test, but will only test for three things because of the amount of blood that is required for testing. Keep your fingers crossed that we can help our sweet guy get is stomach issues under control!

Here are a few things that he is up to:

• Harrison has been responding to questions. If we ask him something, he will respond with an "a" or "yeah" if it is favorable to him. We've tested him on it and he won't always answer that way with something he doesn't want. He truly understands almost everything we tell him, even detailed instructions of what to do/not to do.
• I'm not sure if I mentioned this last month, but this guy has started throwing fits, arch-your-back, hit-your-head-on-the-floor fits. It is so hard. He generally knows what he wants and, sometimes, he isn't allowed to have what he wants for safety reasons (knives and toddlers do not belong together). He will point adamantly at something he wants and tell me in his baby language that he wants it. But, if it's something he shouldn't have or can't do, he will get pretty angry. I'm really trying to work with him and talk to him about WHY he can't do it. I try to be accommodating and let him play with household items that are okay for toddlers when I can, so that I am not always saying "No."
• Speaking of the word "No," Harrison has started saying "Mo" for things this week. He used to say "mama" when he wanted something or when something went wrong. Well, this past week, he learned to say "Mo" when something didn't go in his favor. He is around older cousins a lot who say, or rather scream "NO!" often while throwing fits. Evan and I have purposely avoided saying "No" ever since he was born, opting for things like, "Uh-oh" and "We don't do that." Because I have been doing it for a year, he knows that when I say "Uh-oh" he should not be doing something. Usually, he will stop doing that thing. Now, however, I can see him start to exert his independence with saying "Mo" for something he doesn't want to stop doing. Hm... New mom tactics are in order!
• Harrison's food picky-ness has continued, unfortunately! Bananas, apples, and any type of meat are pretty much something he will always eat. He likes to try all of our food and I realized that I have to give him a lot of options for food. If we haven't had pretzels to snack on for a while, I'll give him pretzels and he gets excited about them. I think picky-ness for him stems from getting bored with the same foods day in and day out. I try to mix it up for him when I can!
• Another skill that Harrison is trying to learn is also food-related: Harrison has decided that he wants to not only hand feed himself, but spoon and fork feed himself too. He has a surprising amount of skill when it comes to wielding a spoon or fork and does pretty well at getting some good bites. We do have to help him eat still (usual getting a bite in while he is concentrating on getting something on his eating utensil) and now have to have a rag HANDY to clean up the mess that ensues. I really am proud of him, though, for increasing this skill.
• Uses anything and everything as a step stool or climbing toy! He is so smart to manipulate his environment to get what he wants. Something he REALLY wanted to get this month was the cuckoo clock. I kept having to move our big chair to keep him from pulling on the cords and trying to yank the clock off the wall!
• I'm not sure if I've already mentioned this, but Harrison LOVES putting lids on and off and is getting more and coordinated.
• Last week, I gave Harrison roasted seaweed for the first time and he loved it! I guess it follows suit because he also loves to eat sushi, but I thought it was pretty funny to see him crunching on seaweed!
• Harrison LOVES our cuckoo clock and dances and sings when it goes off. He also, unfortunately, has a extreme urge to pull on the chains of the cuckoo clock! We have to monitor this guy to make sure he isn't climbing onto the chair below it to yank on the chains!
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Love this face and the fact that he found a broom to play with at my sister's house!

Resourceful little guy...

He loves sitting with daddy to eat

He had so much fun on his cousin, Emma's, birthday at the pumpkin patch! As you can see, he loved the animals... and, OF COURSE, found a broom to play with!

Love that mischievous little grin!

It's funny how little kids totally just get so obsessed with little chairs.

Jars and lids are awesome when you're a kid

I loved the look on his face in this picture

Big boy wants to sit right next to us when we're eating... AND eat with his own utensils

Helping daddy build a fire

Crawling away from the scene of the crime. Yes, those are part-bitten apples on the floor.

Harrison loves his grandma!

My future musician!

 Once again... resourceful little guy!

First horsey ride with daddy

Not so sure about pull-ups with daddy

No, he was not harmed in the picture! We monitored what he was doing, which was to get up onto the counter and eat the pumpkin bread daddy made!

Helping daddy refinish chairs

Loves skateboarding with daddy

Still likes to cuddle with me in the shower... most of the time!

Found his cousin's chocolate chips in her waffle... he was in heaven!

When he escapes mid-diaper or wardrobe change, we say he escaped from Azkaban!

Did I mention that Harrison likes to sit on our laps while we go to the bathroom? I had to document this occurrence so I wouldn't forget.

Pure joy on that face when he climbs onto the "tallest" structure int he vicinity.

He decided to eat from his high chair from the stool instead.

I always tell him, "We don't climb on tables" but sometimes he does anyway. So curious!

Stool to garbage can to counter... that's one way of getting it done!

Evan got out my sewing machine a week or so ago and Harrison LOVED it! Of course, what little boy wouldn't love twisting the turning new gadgets on a machine?! :)

Evening walk with the family... He always holds onto Evan's ears, but since Evan was wearing a hat, he decided to hold onto that instead! :)