I really struggled this week with being a working mom. Wait, I've struggled every week. But, this week I just felt like I hardly saw my own child. I felt like he knows his grandma better than he knows me and he wants to see her more than he wants to see me. Maybe this is/isn't true, but it's how I feel. I want so badly to be home with my baby raising him myself. I'm not sure if I can work full-time after this school year. I feel like I'm trying to do EVERYTHING, including running/bookkeeping 3 fundraisers and planning an exchange to/from Germany, but can't do either motherhood or being a teacher justice. Something has to give. Evan has been SO supportive to me and helps me out so much, but it's just hard. I'm doing my best to be a good mom, but I still feel like I hardly see Harrison during the work week... just a few hours everyday. It breaks me heart to think about it. He is happy in spite of it, but I'm not.
SO many new things this week:
- On Monday for family night, I started playing the piano for our opening song and Harrison started "singing" along. It was so adorable! However, when Evan brought him closer to the piano, he stopped and started reaching out for the piano to play.
- He has been doing SO WELL sitting up by himself. Of course, I thought that and then on Saturday, he fell back and grazed his head on a chair leg. I felt so bad! Usually if I'm not sitting RIGHT next to him, I have the Boppy pillow behind him in case he falls over.
- He got a new bath seat this weekend and he LOVES it! I started giving him baths again a few weeks ago, but felt like I needed to get into the bath with him because it's so hard to hold him with one hand and wash him with the other one. I love this new seat and he does too! He loves just splashing and playing with toys in the water.
- This weekend, Harrison started being a grab-anything-in-sight baby. We are on the verge of having to baby-proof our house. Last week, he pulled a clock down on himself by pulling on the cord. We were feeding him dinner on Friday night and Evan opened the frige door for about 5 seconds during which time, Harrison grabbed a paper off the fridge. The kid is lightning fast!
- Harrison also started on Saturday rolling over in his bed in the night. NO! I'm not ready for this. It totally woke him up. I guess this is why people suggest sleep training a baby BEFORE 6 months because at 6 months they are rolling and need to get themselves back to sleep. I ended up putting him to sleep on his tummy a few times during the night over the weekend because it was the only way he would go back to sleep. Silly guy!
- Poor little sweetie has a cold he got from his cousin. I feel SO BAD. He is coughing, has a drippy nose, and has green goopiness in his eyes. I feel so bad for him! Evan gave him a blessing on Sunday and it definitely helped because Harrison is already looking better. I wanted so badly to stay home today with him, but I need to save my sick days for April/May when Evan's mom is in Japan just in case my sister and others can't help and I need to take the day off of school.
- This weekend, Harrison also started talking up a storm! He wants to tell us about everything in his baby talk. It's funny, because he actually started whispering too. This guy cracks us up! I love his smiles, his laughs, and his adorable face. He makes me so happy. It's amazing how happy he is in spite of feeling so crappy. There is something to be learned from that! Even though I didn't sleep a full hour solid last night (because Harrison was waking up coughing), I am going to learn from his example and stay positive! :)
Notice the million toys on this seat that we use to distract him while feeding? He slowly throws each one... one by one onto the floor.
Can't remember why he did this sad face, but I had to capture it.
Do you see the little tear in his left eye? Sometimes bathy time comes after fussy/eating time. You can clearly see how much he LOVES it!
He loves getting that drain plug!
He had his first time being water-logged after his bath.
He had these jammies when he was a newborn and now he has 9 month ones. We need to have him wear it and compare the two!
He decided he wanted to honk my nose while he nurses. He pinches me so tight sometimes! P.S. Try not to judge my not done hair, no makeup and tired eyes please. :)