Life comes down
and sometimes you just have to let it
let it roll around
drip off your hands
out your ears.
Life comes down
scream it out
run it off
let it go.
Life comes down
everyday miracles
turn into stresses
and you fight every urge
to keep from letting them.
Life comes down
cry it out
explain it away
breathe on.
-Sarah Russell, June 9th, 2009
I feel like this poem today; like I'm fighting every urge I have to keep stress from enveloping my body. I'm stressed about if the apartment Evan and I found is good enough. I'm stressed that the prescription of birth control I picked up today will make me gain weight and cry a lot. I'm stressed that in 2 weeks when I'm in Germany, I won't remember all that I've known for the past 13 years. Through all of this, though, I am fighting to stay grounded, to keep from letting the stress overwhelm my being and send me into irreversible tears. Deep breaths, relaxing thoughts, and a lot of prayer seems to do the trick. But, don't be surprised if I start crying at random!
Tuesday, June 09, 2009
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12 insightful comments:
I love the poem! I'm so sorry you're stressed, it must be really hard on you right now for a ton of reasons. :) You're going to have a lot of fun in Germany and I know you'll remember it ALL. In fact, I bet you'll remember words you had forgotten about (I assume that's what you're referring to). As for birth control, I didn't gain any weight with mine. I noticed I got a little more emotional, but honestly it's hard to know if it was just from that or just the combination of the stress of being engaged and planning a wedding, finding living arrangements, etc. But it all evens out and regulates itself. I found that exercise really helps me to reduce my amount of stress. Even just a 5 minute walk to calm my nerves, if I don't have time for a workout. I love you Sarah and I hope that these next few months go well for you. :) Can't wait to see you.
I have heard how birth control can mess with you, but most people I know haven't had any of these so called symptoms. I have been on Yazmin and love it! Hope this helps...
"Drip off your hands and out your ears".
I am grateful for your insightfulness. It helps me through a lot more than you know.
Stay strong, dear. Adversity always hits me hardest when there is so much potential for things ahead. You will be just fine.
Oh, Sarah! I just want to give you a huge hug! What's your address so I can send you something from time to time? (jenandjoey@yahoo.com). Thanks for all of your love and support, I'm excited to hear about your new life! Loves!
Unfortunately the birth control thing will probably have to be a trial and error experiement. When I was on it it seemed to make me VERY crabby although I didn't gain any weight. I used that the first 2years and we have since decided I can never be on it again (condoms work well). Anyway hang in there and before you know it you'll be married and have a whole new set of stresses. It is definitely OK to cry once in a while.
sorry youre stressed. at least you are not alone! most people planning weddings, new lives, etc., feel like their world is scrambled. just know how loved you are and be grateful that you are taking the BC way before you get married....dont want any honeymoon surprises!(unless you want one, which is fine too!) and yes, to the comment above, it is a trial and error thing. something that works for one person and has no side effects might not be true for another. kind of annoying. take care love! youre almost to August 1st!!!! then you will look back (or maybe not even look, just glimpse) and say..phew...so glad thats over...now we can move on with our lives and have some fun!
ps: look at the map on the bottom of your page and all the little red dots...look how loved you are!!! that should put a big smile on your face ;)
p.s. birth control affects everyone differently and i'm sure that as motivated as you keep yourself, maintaining whatever weight you want will be no problem.
russy, you'll be fine! i think that your apartment with evan will be fine. as long as you're together, isn't that what's important? besides, everyone is supposed to have a first place that they can laugh at later on, right?
and, my birth control makes me cry alot and made me gain weight, i hope you were prescribed yaz, because that's one that you supposedly aren't as affected as much, but everyone is different and i'm sure your physician prescribed whatever he feels is going to be best for you!
and, crying at random isn't too terrible, there's a reason for it. i'm sure you'll feel better if that's what you need!
Hope you start to feel better soon. When you get the trip to Germany out of the way, things will settle down...love you. Let me know if you need anything!
Wow, I LOVE Claire's thoughts on adversity, very very true. Also, the Gilbert Family pointing out all the red dots is great, I was just looking at the number of profile views you have - 2,600!!! Are you kidding me??!! That's a ton! People LOVE you and what you write about. I know I do :0)
I can relate a lot to your poem. I can relate to screaming it out, crying it out and I like the part that says explain it away. Andrew has learned over the years that when I talk to him about my problems that I'm not necessarily looking for a solution. Sometimes I just need to get it out. Now he asks, "Do you want a solution, or just someone to listen?" Usually it's the latter. I hope things calm down for you soon.
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